trying to stay positive

i posted yesterday that i had lost my job. i wasn't really in the mood for talking about it. i am really upset about losing that job....i loved working where i did. i have spent a lot of time in jobs i can't stand, it was so great to find one i enjoyed. plus the loss of income is a big deal. the fact that i've been so sick during this pregnancy....i doubt i'll be able to find another job. i'm really depressed about it. i feel like a failure. this puts a lot more pressure on my hubby, too. sigh.

my doctor's appointment on monday went pretty well. i meant to post about it earlier but with the job thing i haven't wanted to. we heard the baby's heartbeat again. i've lost some weight though because of how sick i've been, so the dr wants me to come back in two weeks instead of four. he gave me scripts for phenergan and zofran to try to help me keep food down. it's helped some. usually in the evening i'm sick again but at least it's not so bad during the day.

my grandma is in the hospital again. she's been really sick since christmas. for the longest time they couldn't figure out what was wrong--then discovered that she has lung disease, that looks like that of someone who has smoked their entire life. she has never smoked. she's had heart problems in the past, so it took them awhile to get her meds to where they could do anything with her lungs. she was doing better so they released her. but then yesterday she went back to the cardiologist and they discovered the right side of her heart was barely working. they immediately admitted her to the icu. later that day she was transferred to a bigger and better hospital. we are all really worried about her. she is still really young....68 years old. if you pray, it would be great if you could pray for her. i love my grandma so much, i don't want to lose her. at least not for awhile.

on a positive note, my sister came to see me yesterday. (not the one who is engaged.) she is in town for spring break and we spent a few hours together. it was good to see her. we walked around a little shopping center together and talked. she is 19, and i can't believe how grown up she is. when i left home she was in junior high. i miss spending time with my family. even though they've moved closer i still don't get to see them as much as i'd like. we are going to the zoo tomorrow with two of my sisters and their boys. i think it will be fun, i'm looking forward to it.

i'm trying to stay positive right now. it just seems like i can't get ahead with anything lately. it's frustrating. poor hubby is stressed out as well. if we could sell our house...man, that would be great. maybe soon. i just have to keep a little bit of hope alive.