Saturday, October 31, 2009

october blog carnival against child abuse

is up here at lynda's blog in the best interest: child advocacy law. check it out. i didn't contribute (again) this month because, like i said, i've been a blogging slacker. but it's definitely worth the time to check it out and read the submissions.

let go....let peace come in

this last week i received an email from a foundation called let go...let peace come in. they run a website for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. this website contains the stories of many survivors. the purpose of this site is to show others who are victims of CSA that they are not alone, and to promote healing through sharing your experience.

check out the website here.

it's the most wonderful day of the year!

i love halloween. it's by far my favorite holiday. don't get me wrong, i love christmas, the carols, the decorations, that feeling in the air. but there is something about halloween that i just love. perhaps it's because i'm so weird i'm drawn to all things strange and creepy. i love the costumes. i love the scary decorations. i love carving pumpkins, eating creepy food, the stories, witches, ghosts, and goblins...everything except scary movies. (i hate scary movies, because i'm a chicken and they give me nightmares.) halloween is the best!

i am so excited to take little buddy trick or treating for the first time tonight. he is going to be a dragon and he looks just adorable in his little costume. our little princess is going to be a pink leopard, and i'm going to be a black cat. i'm not sure what hubby will be dressing up as yet.

i hope you all have a great halloween, full of tricks and treats and haunts.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

i've really been a blogging slacker. a year ago i posted almost daily and now i'm lucky to post more than twice a month. it's not because i'm's because i really just don't know what to say. i think at this point i'm really kind of scared to delve deep into myself because i'm kind of in a good place for now and i don't want to drag up any crap. this is what happens though. i know i've talked about this cycle before, the way i kind of cover up my issues and do well for awhile until it all comes exploding up to the surface again. i'm dealing with my triggers better, i think, at least i'm really trying to. it seems almost every day i have at least one or two triggers but it hasn't sent me into terrifying flashbacks or nightmares for awhile.

life has been pretty busy with two babies to take care of. it's amazing how going from one kid to two doesn't double the's more like ten times the work. especially to get ready to go somewhere. little buddy loves his sister. he points out her nose and eyes and mouth to me and tells me what they are. within the last day or two he's started giving her kisses without being asked. i ask him to help me when i change her and he hands me a diaper for her. he's still pushing boundaries and doing things he knows he's not supposed to just to get attention but it seems like less than he was even a week ago.

the biggest challenge i think has been with the baby. the poor thing has pretty bad reflux. i just assumed she spit up a lot, some babies do that, until about a week ago when she spit up and it was green. after a call to the dr we ended up taking her to the emergency room at the local pediatric hospital because she may have had a blockage. i was terrified....hubby kept me calm. he used to work in the ER at that hospital and had encountered the situation before. there were a lot of tears and my thoughts were running wild....worrying about losing her....what i would do, how i would handle it, how hubby would handle it, what do we do, and all sorts of doom and gloom. (i'm pretty good at that, unfortunately.) the drs were concerned that she had some sort of structural blockage like pyloric stenosis, but after some x-rays and an upper GI we found out that she has GERD and not a blockage. this was great because GERD does not require surgery. she is now on a perscription med and is doing better. she still spits up a lot and is pretty gassy, which is painful for her. but i think overall she feels better and it makes things easier for us. we were really spoiled with little buddy, he was just a perfect child with absolutely no health issues at all. the sickest he's ever been was after he got his chicken pox immunization and he had a fever that night.

i'm looking forward to halloween. it is my favorite holiday. i love the decorations, the eerieness, the creepiness, the whole atmosphere. i love dressing up. this year we get to take little buddy trick-or-treating. he is going to be a dragon and looks just adorable in his costume. the baby will be a little pink leopard and she also looks adorable in her costume. i just hope it isn't too cold on halloween. i don't want the kids to freeze!

well i think i'm going to attempt to take a nap. both kids are asleep and i didn't get much sleep last night. i hope you all have a great day.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

she's here!

monday afternoon was my last appointment with my doctor. it was my due date and boy was i feeling sorry for myself, i was still pregnant and still uncomfortable! my doctor told me that if i hadn't gone into labor before friday, they would induce me. so we scheduled the induction for 7 am friday morning.

we got all of our plans put together for the weekend, who would take care of little buddy, got the house cleaned, bag packed, etc. thursday night my in-laws took us out to eat at olive garden, and i started having contractions. by midnight that night they were about 10 minutes apart and getting more painful. i went into labor the night before i was supposed to be induced.

we arrived at the hospital about 6 am and i was in some major pain--lots of back labor. i had already progressed to about 5.5 cm and we were thrilled. an epidural and a few hours later, our little princess was born, at 11:34 am.

she was 8 pounds, 6 ounces, about 5 ounces heavier than her brother. she was 2o.5 cm long--exactly the same as her brother. and she was beautiful! the delivery was a breeze compared to little buddy and i can't believe how quickly i have recovered already. we brought her home on sunday.

i still can't believe that i'm a mommy of two now. hubby has been such a great help--doing so much with little buddy and our new little princess. he's helping me at night and letting me sleep during the day. little buddy is doing really well with the adjustment so far i think. he's listening a little less and today he refused to nap, but overall i've been happy with how well he's done. he's a great big brother and i can tell he loves his little sister.

having two kids now isn't just twice the work--i think it's more like ten times the work. but so far it has definitely been worth it. i'm loving all the little pink things all over the house and the sweet little sounds she makes. i love how soft her dark hair is and the way she looks at me in the few minutes she's awake.

being a mommy sure is the best thing in the world.