my little sister called me last night. she's engaged! she is getting married in july. crazy. her missionary came home less than a month ago. she is really happy and i am happy for her. what bugs me is my parents. when i told them i wanted to get married, i got a lecture and was told i wasn't ready and this was such a big committment and i was rushing into it. with my sister, it's all excitement and happiness. it bugs me so badly the way that my parents treat me so differently from the rest of my siblings. they've always been so much harder on me, expected more of me, been more demanding of me. and i can't live up to their expectations. it makes me sick inside. just once i would like them to be happy and excited for me the way they are for my siblings. it is somewhat comforting, although angering as well, because my youngest sister seems to be having similar problems. she understands what i went through, and i'm not alone. but it makes me so mad that they would do the same types of things with her. i know every child is different. but i think my mom punished me just because i was the oldest child. when she was growing up her older sister got everything and she was pushed aside...so she compensated for that by being harder on me. it's so not fair that i have had to suffer for her issues.
things have gotten better as i've gotten older, which i am thankful for. i think they've stopped trying to control me the way they did before.
on a side note: did anyone watch the bachelor last night? what a freaking jerk! i couldn't believe it. the idiot proposed to melissa after sending molly home. then on the "after the last rose" show, he broke up with melissa because he couldn't stop thinking about molly, then asked for a second chance with her. totally broke melissa's heart. and he was such an idiot about the way he did it, too. poor girl. i hope molly dumps him.