Sunday, May 30, 2010

things i don't understand

why convicted child rapists are allowed to have children.
why anyone would want to have a child with someone convicted of raping children.
why people look the other way when someone rapes a child...especially when that child is in their own family.
why the victims are shunned and the perpetrators are invited to family functions.
why people get upset when the victim of a horrible crime can't "forgive and forget." or move on.
why a perpetrator is only sorry he got caught...and does whatever he can to get away with his crimes.
why children are raped at all.

what is wrong with people?


keri said...

Hi darlin'. I'm glad that you posted this blog up to your FB. I had no idea about your past, and have been keeping up with your blog incognito :), not a stalker though, I swear. :) One of my sisters was also sexually abused as a very young child for about a year. And as it is in most cases, the abuser was a relative, though an adolescent, not an adult. I will say this in regards to your post about things you don't understand. Where the person has gone through the repentance process, counseling, and true remorse, and the victim has had a chance for healing and closure, then those things are to be forgiven. Not forgotten, never forgotten, but forgiven, completely. They are children of God just as much as you and I, and just as deserving of love and happiness in life, under the condition that the price of their actions is paid through full repentance. To deny that is to deny the Atonement. I hope this helps you in your struggles. Obviously each circumstance is different, and I will never say to my sister that she needs to forget and move on, only that to her it is given to forgive all. The sin is upon his head, and it is between him and God. But I do feel there needs to be awareness spread, and confidential conversations between the wife and the victim, so that she can ensure the safety of her own children.

cornnut32 said...

hey miss keri, thanks for leaving a comment on my blog!

i really appreciate your perspective. honestly...i wish that were the case with my abuser. my uncle has done NOTHING to show remorse. he has done nothing to show that he is even slightly sorry for what he did to me, and in fact blatantly goes on as if he has done nothing wrong. most of my extended family treats us (being my parents and siblings) as if we are the ones who are wrong because we don't want to be around him, we don't want our kids around him, and we brought the whole thing up in the first place. he is invited to family functions and we are not, when he is the one who raped's a whole lot of history.

it's just really hard to forgive someone for violating you when they don't care at all that they did. and to be honest i'm not ready to forgive him. i'm working toward it in therapy, but i'm not there yet, and don't know when i will be--or if forgiveness will even come in this life.

i hope your sister has been able to deal with this and really forgive whoever it was that abused her. i'm sure that forgiveness brought a lot of freedom for her. and how wonderful that the person that abused her really felt remorseful and repented! unfortunately your sister's situation is the exception rather than the my experience most people who sexually abuse children don't feel bad about it and continue to do so for the rest of their lives. something like 98% of sexual predators (adolescent or not) end up reoffending multiple times over the course of their lives, and most have more than ten victims.

anyway. i really do appreciate your comment, and like i said, i'm happy you read my blog. :)

Holly Renee said...

It's hard to understand. I think that it helps me to recognize that some people are sick (the perpetrator), their minds are not healed. Other people don't understand and take the easy road out so that they don't feel uncomfortable about what's happened to the child (those who shun the victims). For every bad apple though there are two good ones. That's what gets me through. These questions are amazingly honest, and I think it's important to ask them. XXOO