i started several different portraits before finally deciding to finish this one. there were also several revisions before i got it the way i wanted.
to me, this portrait represents freedom. freedom from pain. freedom from depression, from flashbacks, from nightmares, from the hell that is inside my head. i have reached the top of the mountain, i am looking over the valley. i can see all the way into the distance, no more fog, no more tangles of tree branches limiting my view. the sun is rising over my new life, over the new me. i am not inhibited by negative self-perceptions. i accept myself, my body, inside and out. i am comfortable in my own skin. i feel joy and pride in my journey to the top of the mountain. i feel gratitude toward those who have helped me there, for the love and support of my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my therapist, my God.
right now i can't even imagine what that freedom feels like. but i'm determined to get there someday.
how i am now
how i was in the past
explanation of the transformational self-portrait