Sunday, May 16, 2010

transformational self portrait:: my ideal future self

i started several different portraits before finally deciding to finish this one. there were also several revisions before i got it the way i wanted.

to me, this portrait represents freedom. freedom from pain. freedom from depression, from flashbacks, from nightmares, from the hell that is inside my head. i have reached the top of the mountain, i am looking over the valley. i can see all the way into the distance, no more fog, no more tangles of tree branches limiting my view. the sun is rising over my new life, over the new me. i am not inhibited by negative self-perceptions. i accept myself, my body, inside and out. i am comfortable in my own skin. i feel joy and pride in my journey to the top of the mountain. i feel gratitude toward those who have helped me there, for the love and support of my husband, my children, my family, my friends, my therapist, my God.

right now i can't even imagine what that freedom feels like. but i'm determined to get there someday.

how i am now

how i was in the past

explanation of the transformational self-portrait


Paula said...

Like with the last painting I need some time for pondering. Will return soon!

From Tracie said...

Amazing!! I know that you will arrive in this place and it will be beautiful!

Marj aka Thriver said...

Yes, this really does say "freedom!" Well done! I get little glimpses of it now...but wish it would stick around longer.

I wish for us both--for every survivor--a lasting peace and feeling of freedom. Thanks for your courage and advocacy in sharing this series and letting us use it for the blog carnival.

Patricia Singleton said...

Freedom is a grand thing to have. Prayers and blessings for that future you.

Paul from Mind Parts said...

That's the message I get from this work... freedom!! I found your last, present, image to be sad. You look so lonely. I hope you find the freedom you deserve. I also cannot help but feel that in the future self image you have also found a voice. A strong voice.