i'm sitting in bed. hubby is putting the kids to sleep, because he rocks. and because they take four times longer to go to sleep with me than they do with him.
have you ever wondered what future people would think if they could see your house exactly as it is today? maybe like pompeii. modern-day archeologists try to figure out what life was like there before it was buried in ash. they'd have a heyday in my house, i think.
there are no less than 10 pillows on my bed. in all different shapes and sizes. hubby has to have a million pillows. then he picks one to toss on my side of the bed (or on me) almost every night because it gets in his way. so then i end up putting it on the floor because it is irritating me. we also each have our own blankets. mine is a huge, fuzzy, thick blanket. his is a twin-size thin t-shirt blanket. he has a heater built-in and i freeze all the time.
there are clothes hanging from every door in here. dresses, suit jackets, t-shirts, tank tops, sweaters, pants and polo shirts. a lot of our clothes can't go in the dryer. i no longer have a rod in my utility room so they get hung on doors. then left there until we wear them, or there is no more room on the doors to hang more. (because i HATE doing laundry.) and, although i gather dirty clothes nearly every day, the clothes i wore to work today are on the floor.
next to my bed i have a make-shift night stand. the base of said night stand is the dog's crate, then a small three-drawer rubbermaid organizer. this organizer contains pens and pencils and markers of all kinds, a wii remote, rolos, my crossword puzzle book, my address book and a large quantity of bobby pins that i take out of my hair at night. on top i have a fork, a baby monitor, my phone (charging because the battery died), and a lamp. pinned to my lamp i have mini yarn zombie voodoo doll things. they are AWESOME. three of them, to be precise. plus my stuffed sally doll (from nightmare before christmas.) and my chloroseptic spray, because sometimes i just need it.
hubby's side of the bed is a real mess. garbage, cups, forks and spoons, and phone chargers. plus buddy left a bunch of plastic mcdonald's play food over there, so it looks like mcdonald's threw up or something.
combine that with my teddy bear, a book about training dogs (which i need to finish so i can train my spastic dog), half-full bags of pretzels and cheetos, toys, children's books, a wii balance board, empty gift bags, and boxes of craft supplies (paint, popsicle sticks, ribbon, glue sticks, felt, etc.) in piles all over.
so here is what future-people see:
she likes creepy things.
they were messy people.
perhaps clothes are hung in a ceremonious "laundry hating" fashion.
creative people can't keep their crap straight.
you can tell the most about us, however, from what's hanging on our walls.
there are two paintings i did of hubby and me hanging above our headboard. i spent a long time on these and i'm pretty proud of them. in general they turned out pretty well.
one wall has a painting of a little boy with a drawing of the american flag and two firemen. it's a gift i got for hubby. next to it is a painting that belonged to his grandpa, who was a captain in the fire department in his city. the painting is of a horse-drawn firewagon. (is that the right word?) his grandpa's helmet is up there, too, and a photo of hubby's fire academy class. two of our engagement photos as well.....we took them on a firetruck. they're pretty awesome.
the opposite wall is full of pictures of our kids, plus one buddy drew of me last year for mother's day, his handprint and a quote about motherhood.
the last wall has a big mirror half-obscured by the TV, a collage print full of photos of me and my grandmother, and our "i love you because..." frame. (currently, it says BOOBS. guess who wrote that.)
future-people now see that we are a family. we love our kids. we love each other. we love our history.
but we're still messy.
(i blame it on...well...can i say exhaustion?)
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
and they call it sharpie love
you did?
well, i guess i haven't mentioned it before, huh? :)
see these two beautiful new packages of multi-colored sharpies? they're my new favorites. hubby told me he'd give me $10 if i let him try to drop a candy into my mouth from two feet away....from his mouth. yeah, he missed. but i still got $10. and two new packages of sharpies. yay, me!
Monday, March 18, 2013
corgis pretty much rule.
today marked the beginning of obedience training for my little spaz. love that dog...even if he drives me crazy sometimes.
i saw this cutesy little sign on pinterest...
and i pinned it because i liked the saying. but when i went to put it in my art journal, i realized...."doggy" and "corgi" could be switched and it would still sound awesome. and i'm pretty sure my corgi would just X out the "doggy" part and leave a bright red paw print in his wake.
so it's true....no home is complete without the pitter patter of corgi feet.
Friday, March 15, 2013
food glorious food
went grocery shopping hungry today. ended up getting a package of ridiculously expensive dried apples and eating the whole thing at once. and, of course, while i was there my mouth was watering as i thought of all of the food i love...
watermelon. pineapple. apples. tomatoes. clementines.
corn on the cob.
nuts. walnuts, cashews, almonds especially...all kinds of nuts. (probably because i'm so nutty, teehee!)
pecan pralines and cream ice cream, blue bell brand. seriously. i dare you to sit down and eat one single bite of this and tell me it's not heaven in the form of frozen dairy.
megastuf oreos. first, there were oreos. yum. then there were doublestuf oreos. much better. then they came out with megastuf oreos, and the oreo people finally got it perfect. i just ate a few and my tummy is smiling, that's how good they are.
coca-cola. this beverage is so amazing i don't need to elaborate.
kiwi. c'mon, who doesn't love a good, ripe kiwi?
almond joy. i grew up eating almond joy....they are divine. so are rolos. (i love the new mini rolos you can get in bags now.)
symphony with toffee. toffee in general. chocolate in general.
shrimp. no kidding, shrimp is probably one of my most favorite foods in the entire world. you know how bubba goes on and on about all the things you can do with shrimp in forrest gump? yeah, that's totally me. except i sure hope i don't get shot.
brownies. splurged a bit today and i got those little debbie cosmic brownies at wal-mart. yep, i'm that awesome.
baskin robbins margarita ice....yummy ice cream. love it.
rice chex. my favorite cereal.
subway club sandwiches with everything except peppers and onions.
i could go on forever!
what food do you love?
(don't forget to enter my giveaway!)
watermelon. pineapple. apples. tomatoes. clementines.
corn on the cob.
nuts. walnuts, cashews, almonds especially...all kinds of nuts. (probably because i'm so nutty, teehee!)
pecan pralines and cream ice cream, blue bell brand. seriously. i dare you to sit down and eat one single bite of this and tell me it's not heaven in the form of frozen dairy.
megastuf oreos. first, there were oreos. yum. then there were doublestuf oreos. much better. then they came out with megastuf oreos, and the oreo people finally got it perfect. i just ate a few and my tummy is smiling, that's how good they are.
coca-cola. this beverage is so amazing i don't need to elaborate.
kiwi. c'mon, who doesn't love a good, ripe kiwi?
almond joy. i grew up eating almond joy....they are divine. so are rolos. (i love the new mini rolos you can get in bags now.)
symphony with toffee. toffee in general. chocolate in general.
shrimp. no kidding, shrimp is probably one of my most favorite foods in the entire world. you know how bubba goes on and on about all the things you can do with shrimp in forrest gump? yeah, that's totally me. except i sure hope i don't get shot.
brownies. splurged a bit today and i got those little debbie cosmic brownies at wal-mart. yep, i'm that awesome.
baskin robbins margarita ice....yummy ice cream. love it.
rice chex. my favorite cereal.
subway club sandwiches with everything except peppers and onions.
i could go on forever!
what food do you love?
(don't forget to enter my giveaway!)
Monday, March 4, 2013
all you need is love....love is all you need
being a mother is the most difficult and most amazing thing i've done. every day i am responsible for not only taking care of the physical needs of my children, but also their emotional needs--and teaching them to be fine, upstanding members of society. it's hard. i lose patience sometimes. i just want to turn on the tv some days. i try very hard to play with them, or plan projects or games, or do arts and crafts....but frankly, there are times where just giving them food and keeping them from killing each other is the best i can do.
but then i remember....
....and then everything is much easier. no one could love my children more than hubby and i do. no one could be a better mother to them than me--because they are a part of me. they mean everything to me and i would die for them. so even when princess is throwing toys at buddy's head and he is screaming hysterically and all i want to do is scream, i just need to remember that LOVE is all i need.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
things i love
being the kind of person that i am, i feel passionately about things. typically this means i either love something or hate something....or am totally ambivalent. there aren't many "in-between" emotions. and, sometimes, i can feel passionately about something and both love and hate it.
it is (generally) in my nature to be an optimist. often this drives hubby nuts...because he worries, and i just say, "everything will be fine." or he's stressed about something, and i just say, "no worries, relax. everything will work out." we balance each other pretty well in that regard, i think.
there are a lot of things i love. a few days ago, the kids and i made "things i love" hearts. theirs turned out pretty awesome, i have to say.
here is mine. of course, there are a thousand more things i could have listed, but these are the things that stood out to me that day.
but of course, the thing i love most...my man.
.JPG)
studmuffin hubby + cornnut forever, baby.
so what do you love? what would you include in your heart? make one and share!
it is (generally) in my nature to be an optimist. often this drives hubby nuts...because he worries, and i just say, "everything will be fine." or he's stressed about something, and i just say, "no worries, relax. everything will work out." we balance each other pretty well in that regard, i think.
there are a lot of things i love. a few days ago, the kids and i made "things i love" hearts. theirs turned out pretty awesome, i have to say.
here is mine. of course, there are a thousand more things i could have listed, but these are the things that stood out to me that day.
but of course, the thing i love most...my man.
.JPG)
studmuffin hubby + cornnut forever, baby.
so what do you love? what would you include in your heart? make one and share!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
valentine's day in the cornnut household
yesterday was the day of love.
happy valentine's day!
while a number of people (including hubby) grumble about how valentine's day is a stupid holiday invented just for the greeting card/flower/candy companies to make money, i happen to like valentine's day. for several reasons.
decorations. let's face it. decorations are a plus for any holiday. i, being the nutcase that i am, LOVE decorating for any reason. valentine's day is no exception. (here, enjoy a photo collage of a few of my decorations.) most of these items were made by me. the wreath i made with dollar store ribbon, wire garland and vine wreath. the conversation hearts and the "be mine" blocks i made at my mom's house, where she and my sisters made some also. the paper conversation hearts my adorable kids helped me make. you can tell by the scribbles. we made a ton of these to put down the stairs along the railing. the LOVE banner i made with the help of my mom. the conversation hearts in the vase...vase i already had, dollar store flowers, leftover candy from two years ago. (i have two of these.) window clings on the mirror in my living room, and the adorable hedgehog is courtesy of wal-mart.
flowers. i LOVE flowers. flowers are the BEST. i love GETTING flowers. not just on valentine's day, but, well, that's pretty much the only time i get them, because flowers are expensive. so valentine's day is GREAT because hubby buys me pretty FLOWERS. like the ones pictured below. mini-roses. aren't they gorgeous?
jewelry. hubby also buys me pretty jewelry. this year he got me a pretty necklace and earring set with teardrop-shaped purple stones. i've worn them two days in a row. and i LOVE jewelry. (take a look at my bathroom counter if you don't believe me....jewelry EVERYWHERE. but don't really look, because it is a mess. really.)
chocolate. seriously. need i say more? okay, i will. CHOCOLATE. lots and lots of it. CHOCOLATE. yum. hubby got me one of those giant symphony candy bars. chocolate and toffee. unfortunately, it is not pictured, because i ate it. and it was DELICIOUS.
kids. kids are the best, year-round. kids on holidays even better. my kids were thrilled with the teddy bears hubby and i got them. and they were by far the most adorable little valentines the world ever did see in their wal-mart shirts. (especially little buddy. everyone commented on that shirt.)
valentine's cards. while we're on the subject of kids, let's talk about valentines. my kids LOVED making valentines this year. i cut out construction paper hearts, they used the glue sticks and crayons and voila. beautiful cards. since little buddy is now in preschool, he also had a class party where he got to hand out valentines. thank you pinterest for the great ideas. (apologies for the big black boxes, but i had to block out little buddy's name.)
the cards for the kids were so fun to make. we took a hotwheels car with tread on the tires, ran it through black acrylic paint then across the cardstock. doublestick tape to hold the little cars on. they say:
"you're a WHEELY good friend!"
"you make my heart RACE!"
and "i'll never TIRE of your friendship!"
for the teachers, i got some inexpensive lotion, traced little buddy's hands on cardstock and taped them on. they say, "miss so-and-so, you deserve a hand!"
greeting cards. technically this could fall under the category of "valentine's cards," but we'll keep it separate. hubby got me a cute charlie brown card to go with my fantastic gifts. but i have to say i was extremely pleased with the card i found for him.
background: i love my husband's rear end. this embarrasses him. (sorry, honey!) but the truth is, i tease him about it all the time, because he really does have the most attractive bottom i have ever seen. (i could even tell you a story about the first time i realized what a nice butt he has, but i'll save it for another day.) ANYWAY, i found this card while perusing, you guessed it, wal-mart.
but the best part about valentine's day? the fact that my hubby loves me (and shows me he loves me) every other day of the year, too.
happy valentine's day!
while a number of people (including hubby) grumble about how valentine's day is a stupid holiday invented just for the greeting card/flower/candy companies to make money, i happen to like valentine's day. for several reasons.
decorations. let's face it. decorations are a plus for any holiday. i, being the nutcase that i am, LOVE decorating for any reason. valentine's day is no exception. (here, enjoy a photo collage of a few of my decorations.) most of these items were made by me. the wreath i made with dollar store ribbon, wire garland and vine wreath. the conversation hearts and the "be mine" blocks i made at my mom's house, where she and my sisters made some also. the paper conversation hearts my adorable kids helped me make. you can tell by the scribbles. we made a ton of these to put down the stairs along the railing. the LOVE banner i made with the help of my mom. the conversation hearts in the vase...vase i already had, dollar store flowers, leftover candy from two years ago. (i have two of these.) window clings on the mirror in my living room, and the adorable hedgehog is courtesy of wal-mart.
flowers. i LOVE flowers. flowers are the BEST. i love GETTING flowers. not just on valentine's day, but, well, that's pretty much the only time i get them, because flowers are expensive. so valentine's day is GREAT because hubby buys me pretty FLOWERS. like the ones pictured below. mini-roses. aren't they gorgeous?
jewelry. hubby also buys me pretty jewelry. this year he got me a pretty necklace and earring set with teardrop-shaped purple stones. i've worn them two days in a row. and i LOVE jewelry. (take a look at my bathroom counter if you don't believe me....jewelry EVERYWHERE. but don't really look, because it is a mess. really.)
chocolate. seriously. need i say more? okay, i will. CHOCOLATE. lots and lots of it. CHOCOLATE. yum. hubby got me one of those giant symphony candy bars. chocolate and toffee. unfortunately, it is not pictured, because i ate it. and it was DELICIOUS.
kids. kids are the best, year-round. kids on holidays even better. my kids were thrilled with the teddy bears hubby and i got them. and they were by far the most adorable little valentines the world ever did see in their wal-mart shirts. (especially little buddy. everyone commented on that shirt.)
valentine's cards. while we're on the subject of kids, let's talk about valentines. my kids LOVED making valentines this year. i cut out construction paper hearts, they used the glue sticks and crayons and voila. beautiful cards. since little buddy is now in preschool, he also had a class party where he got to hand out valentines. thank you pinterest for the great ideas. (apologies for the big black boxes, but i had to block out little buddy's name.)
the cards for the kids were so fun to make. we took a hotwheels car with tread on the tires, ran it through black acrylic paint then across the cardstock. doublestick tape to hold the little cars on. they say:
"you're a WHEELY good friend!"
"you make my heart RACE!"
and "i'll never TIRE of your friendship!"
for the teachers, i got some inexpensive lotion, traced little buddy's hands on cardstock and taped them on. they say, "miss so-and-so, you deserve a hand!"
greeting cards. technically this could fall under the category of "valentine's cards," but we'll keep it separate. hubby got me a cute charlie brown card to go with my fantastic gifts. but i have to say i was extremely pleased with the card i found for him.
background: i love my husband's rear end. this embarrasses him. (sorry, honey!) but the truth is, i tease him about it all the time, because he really does have the most attractive bottom i have ever seen. (i could even tell you a story about the first time i realized what a nice butt he has, but i'll save it for another day.) ANYWAY, i found this card while perusing, you guessed it, wal-mart.
in case you can't read it, i will translate.
TO THE MAN I LOVE: after all this time, i still catch myself looking at you. especially...well..the butt part of you. i can't help it. it's right there, connected to your legs. how can i not look? even now, as you read this, if i'm next to you, and even my eyes seem to be looking at your face...one of them is actually--yep, you guessed it: butt. i can't help it. my eyes are just that talented. oh, sure, there's a lot more to you. you're kind, and thoughtful, and funny, and oh, so handsome. hands down, you're the best guy a girl could want. no ifs, ands, or....you know.
HEHEHEHEHE! i giggled. out loud. in wal-mart. i would say that everyone stared, but there are lots of strange people in wal-mart so i just fit in with the crowd. and hubby loved it. he rolls his eyes every time i compliment his derriere, but i think he secretly loves that i love his butt.
giving gifts. i am a gift-giver. i love to be a gift-receiver, but one of the true joys in my life is gift-giving. in fact, i frequently get into trouble for spending money i shouldn't on gifts for others. this year, thanks to pinterest, i found another awesomely cool idea....a little book called the alphabet of our love. (originally posted on the blog i love it all.) it took me a long time to make this book for hubby. i was thrilled with the outcome, i think it's pretty darn cute. he loved it, too. (and will cherish it always, because i said so.) i have pictured only a few of the pages, because there are a lot, and because some of them i just didn't want to share.
but the best part about valentine's day? the fact that my hubby loves me (and shows me he loves me) every other day of the year, too.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
happy fourth anniversary
i love you through and through.
i love your top side.
i love your bottom side.
i love your inside
and outside.
i love your happy side,
your sad side,
your silly side,
your mad side.
i love your fingers
and toes,
your ears
and nose.
i love your hair and eyes,
your giggles
and cries.
i love you running
and walking,
silent
and talking.
i love you through and through....
yesterday, today, and tomorrow, too.
(especially your bottom side)
happy fourth anniversary to the man with the sexiest rear end i have ever seen.
i love you like crazy...and always will.
thank you for being there for me, for being patient and loving,
for sacrificing your own needs for mine.
thank you for being an amazing father and devoted husband.
thank you for your hard work.
the last four years have been full of ups and downs and sideways and loops and spinning...
but always an adventure.
thanks for being my best friend,
even though it isn't easy.
after all these years, you're still my everything.
i love you.
happy anniversary, hubby!
poem from the book "i love you through and through" by bernadette rosetti-shustak
Monday, July 26, 2010
more things i love:
cuddling with my hubby
listening to my son sing to himself (lately it's "happy birthday to you" or a song about how he can pee in his diaper....gotta love potty training)
hugs from my baby girl, she lays her head on my shoulder and pats my back with her little hand
warm brownies
getting to know new people and making friends
sarah mclaughlan
seeing my sweet little boy next to his daddy....how similar they look
hershey's bliss chocolates. a bag full.
baby fat rolls, baby giggles, baby teeth
my iphone
knowing i have people i can turn to when i need help, or just someone to talk to
nap time
feeling accepted in spite of my flaws
holding both my kids at once and knowing that being a mommy is the best thing in the world
my teddy bear, my quilts, my pillow....my soft comfy bed
my cat
reading sappy romance novels...watching sappy romance movies
fires in the fireplace
rainstorms with thunder and lightning and wind
singing at the top of my lungs when no one is around, while driving in my car
facebook
a band i just discovered called fireflight (seriously LOVE them)
kisses
a really good workout that gets endorphins pumping...and makes me feel alive
sunshine
the skulls on the back of my minivan
pandora radio
an ice-cold coke with condensation running down the side of the cup
saving money
the ocean...hearing the waves, and the gulls. the smell of saltwater, the feel of the sand beneath my toes
vacations
did i mention cuddling with my hubby?
shopping
other things i love
and more things i love
what do you love?
listening to my son sing to himself (lately it's "happy birthday to you" or a song about how he can pee in his diaper....gotta love potty training)
hugs from my baby girl, she lays her head on my shoulder and pats my back with her little hand
warm brownies
getting to know new people and making friends
sarah mclaughlan
seeing my sweet little boy next to his daddy....how similar they look
hershey's bliss chocolates. a bag full.
baby fat rolls, baby giggles, baby teeth
my iphone
knowing i have people i can turn to when i need help, or just someone to talk to
nap time
feeling accepted in spite of my flaws
holding both my kids at once and knowing that being a mommy is the best thing in the world
my teddy bear, my quilts, my pillow....my soft comfy bed
my cat
reading sappy romance novels...watching sappy romance movies
fires in the fireplace
rainstorms with thunder and lightning and wind
singing at the top of my lungs when no one is around, while driving in my car
a band i just discovered called fireflight (seriously LOVE them)
kisses
a really good workout that gets endorphins pumping...and makes me feel alive
sunshine
the skulls on the back of my minivan
pandora radio
an ice-cold coke with condensation running down the side of the cup
saving money
the ocean...hearing the waves, and the gulls. the smell of saltwater, the feel of the sand beneath my toes
vacations
did i mention cuddling with my hubby?
shopping
other things i love
and more things i love
what do you love?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Lakewood police officer says little boy's kindness restores hope
by DREW MIKKELSEN / KING5 News
Posted on December 16, 2009 at 5:47 PM
LAKEWOOD, Wash. - A Lakewood police officer, who wishes to remain anonymous, said he was inspired to write the following Christmas letter earlier this week.
The officer credits one small boy's donation of support to the Lakewood Police Department as the big reason he has regained hope for this holiday season.
The officer sent it to friends, family members and other law enforcement officers.
A Tukwila police officer received the officer's permission to release it to the public:
I'm not much for writing Christmas letters, and in fact this year, I didn't even feel like making the effort of buying and addressing Christmas cards at all. I'm sure you all have heard of the terrible tragedy that occurred here in Lakewood two weeks ago today - four of our officers, four people that have become my friends over the past 5 years as we all worked here together, were gunned down as they sat in a coffee shop. Three fathers and a mother - all of whom were dedicated to their jobs and their families - now dead. The grief at our station and in our community has been overwhelming and we have all now just barely begun to process what this means for our department and for police departments all across our state and nation. Several times since this event happened, police agencies have responded to reports of individuals across King and Pierce Counties causing commotions and claiming to be planning to kill more officers. We do our best to maintain our composure and continue to do our jobs the best that we can.
It is hard not to remain bleak and jaded with these events so fresh in our minds. But something happened today, just 20 minutes ago, which made me want to send out a Christmas letter. I'm here at work and was just out in our secure parking lot helping another officer load collection bins into his car to take to a local Lakewood Police Independent Guild fundraiser event. I heard a woman, standing with a boy who couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old, calling, "Excuse me…." through our locked gate. She had apparently been trying to get to our front counter but found no one there, it being Sunday, and had just happened to see us in the parking lot. I walked over to her and saw that the little boy was holding a plastic baggy containing a dollar and some change, and was clutching a well-worn stuffed dinosaur.
The woman told me that her son, AJ, had seen the stories on tv about our 4 slain officers. She said that they had driven to our station all the way from Kingston because her son was so intent on helping the children of these officers. I opened the gate and the boy handed me the plastic baggy containing all the money from his piggybank and a note on which he had written "AJ….From me to Pleec. I Love You." And then, with tears in his eyes, he handed me his stuffed dinosaur. AJ's mom explained that he wanted to give the children of the slain officers the most precious thing that he owned, and that was his dinosaur, Bruno.
I told AJ that I would take the money that he wanted to donate, but that I thought the best thing he could do for the children of our 4 officers was to keep Bruno safe with him but to keep those kids in his heart when he hugged his dinosaur. He agreed and gratefully took Bruno back from me and held him tightly as if he never wanted to let him go again.
We have seen many, many acts of generosity and kindness over the past 2 weeks. We have hugged more friends and strangers than we could have ever imagined and have mended broken ties with people we haven't talked to for years. Yet nothing has touched me deeper, or given me more hope for the future, than AJ and his stuffed dinosaur. I gave AJ one of our department challenge coins, explaining to him that we only gave them out to the bravest and most deserving people we came across. I hope he will realize someday how much more than a dollar and some change he gave to me and to the Lakewood Police Department today.
So anyway, none of that is about Christmas, but it is about hope and love and I thought it was appropriate to share this holiday season.
I hope this letter finds all of you well and eager to spend the holidays with those you love. Squeeze everyone a little tighter and hug them a little longer today because life really is precious. Merry Christmas!
Posted on December 16, 2009 at 5:47 PM
LAKEWOOD, Wash. - A Lakewood police officer, who wishes to remain anonymous, said he was inspired to write the following Christmas letter earlier this week.
The officer credits one small boy's donation of support to the Lakewood Police Department as the big reason he has regained hope for this holiday season.
The officer sent it to friends, family members and other law enforcement officers.
A Tukwila police officer received the officer's permission to release it to the public:
I'm not much for writing Christmas letters, and in fact this year, I didn't even feel like making the effort of buying and addressing Christmas cards at all. I'm sure you all have heard of the terrible tragedy that occurred here in Lakewood two weeks ago today - four of our officers, four people that have become my friends over the past 5 years as we all worked here together, were gunned down as they sat in a coffee shop. Three fathers and a mother - all of whom were dedicated to their jobs and their families - now dead. The grief at our station and in our community has been overwhelming and we have all now just barely begun to process what this means for our department and for police departments all across our state and nation. Several times since this event happened, police agencies have responded to reports of individuals across King and Pierce Counties causing commotions and claiming to be planning to kill more officers. We do our best to maintain our composure and continue to do our jobs the best that we can.
It is hard not to remain bleak and jaded with these events so fresh in our minds. But something happened today, just 20 minutes ago, which made me want to send out a Christmas letter. I'm here at work and was just out in our secure parking lot helping another officer load collection bins into his car to take to a local Lakewood Police Independent Guild fundraiser event. I heard a woman, standing with a boy who couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old, calling, "Excuse me…." through our locked gate. She had apparently been trying to get to our front counter but found no one there, it being Sunday, and had just happened to see us in the parking lot. I walked over to her and saw that the little boy was holding a plastic baggy containing a dollar and some change, and was clutching a well-worn stuffed dinosaur.
The woman told me that her son, AJ, had seen the stories on tv about our 4 slain officers. She said that they had driven to our station all the way from Kingston because her son was so intent on helping the children of these officers. I opened the gate and the boy handed me the plastic baggy containing all the money from his piggybank and a note on which he had written "AJ….From me to Pleec. I Love You." And then, with tears in his eyes, he handed me his stuffed dinosaur. AJ's mom explained that he wanted to give the children of the slain officers the most precious thing that he owned, and that was his dinosaur, Bruno.
I told AJ that I would take the money that he wanted to donate, but that I thought the best thing he could do for the children of our 4 officers was to keep Bruno safe with him but to keep those kids in his heart when he hugged his dinosaur. He agreed and gratefully took Bruno back from me and held him tightly as if he never wanted to let him go again.
We have seen many, many acts of generosity and kindness over the past 2 weeks. We have hugged more friends and strangers than we could have ever imagined and have mended broken ties with people we haven't talked to for years. Yet nothing has touched me deeper, or given me more hope for the future, than AJ and his stuffed dinosaur. I gave AJ one of our department challenge coins, explaining to him that we only gave them out to the bravest and most deserving people we came across. I hope he will realize someday how much more than a dollar and some change he gave to me and to the Lakewood Police Department today.
So anyway, none of that is about Christmas, but it is about hope and love and I thought it was appropriate to share this holiday season.
I hope this letter finds all of you well and eager to spend the holidays with those you love. Squeeze everyone a little tighter and hug them a little longer today because life really is precious. Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
sweet sweet fantasy
this is an automatically generated post, because i am away for a few days, working on getting my life in order. i would love to come back to an inbox full of comments, from my readers sharing their thoughts with me. so please leave a comment!
i adore this painting. the romance! the intrigue! are they secret lovers? are they newly married? is he leaving her for a long period of time, to have adventures in a far-off land? are they running away together?
i adore this painting. the romance! the intrigue! are they secret lovers? are they newly married? is he leaving her for a long period of time, to have adventures in a far-off land? are they running away together?
The Kiss
Francesco Hayez
i feel wistfully romantic when i look at this piece. makes me think of all those beautiful romantic moments in my life.
does this painting make you think of a romantic moment you've had? or does it incite a fantasy? i can see it now--my handsome hubby, in that hat with a feather and a sweeping cape, whisking me away in secret to steal a kiss just before we run away together.
are you as sickeningly romantic as i am?
Monday, January 5, 2009
happy birthday hubby
this is for my husband, who turns 26 today. i wish you a very happy birthday, honey. i just want you to know that i love you and admire you, and even if things aren't perfect you make them better than they are. i know i've shared this with you before, but i want you to re-read it and remember them, because even when i'm crazy i still feel this way.
as for everyone else, you can read them and be jealous!
75 reasons why i love my hubby:
1. he remembers little things, like how i like forks better than spoons.
2. he talks to me via email while i'm at work.
3. he can be very romantic and spontaneous, and i love that.
4. he has such an incredible work ethic! he works so hard for our family, even though it is not easy.
5. i can trust him completely, with anything.
6. i know that he loves me unconditionally.
7. he is such an incredible father! he loves our baby so much.
8. he is fiercely loyal--which is one of the reasons i fell in love with him.
9. he has the sexiest butt! :) it's nice and tight and i love it.
10. i love the way he laughs when he things something is really funny!
11. he tells me i'm a good mommy a lot.
12. he helps me out with things around the house when i ask him to.
13. he's a really good cook.
14. he likes to sleep in with me
15. he brings me cokes randomly because he knows i love them
16. he supports me in my work
17. he is so intelligent and learns things quickly.
18. i know he would do anything to protect me and our baby.
19. he gives the best hugs and kisses :)
20. he always wants to fix things when they go badly. no matter how badly.
21. he has a very black and white sense of what's wrong and what isn't.
22. he wants everything to be good, and right, and people to be respectful
23. he is respectful of other people's rights.
24. he is strong physically and mentally--i know i can lean on him, which i do, a LOT.
25. he is always worried about my health and well-being.
26. he is so good about taking care of our finances, he's never been late on any payments.
27. he always does what he says he will do.
28. he is so responsible!
29. he tells me he loves me a million times a day.
30. he is committed to our marriage and to making things work.
31. he has the bluest, most incredible eyes i've ever seen.
32. i know that if there is an emergency he can stay calm and take care of it.
33. i don't have to worry about leaving the baby with him--he does such a good job of taking care of him!
34. he knows so much about medical things, i love that he carries a huge first aid kit in his car.
35. he'll eat just about anything :)
36. i love it when he calls me "pretty eyes"
37. he always asks what he can do for me, and how he can help me.
38. he knows how to make me smile and laugh when i'm mad at him. it's so hard to stay upset when he does that!
39. he watches trashy reality tv with me.
40. he rubs my back when i ask him to and does a great job
41. he always checks the mileage every time he gets gas
42. he shreds his receipts. endearing even if it is messy.
43. he encourages me to do things i love, like scrapbooking, playing the piano, etc.
44. he understands that my family is important to me.
45. he helps me to relax because i stress out a lot over stupid things.
46. he likes to cuddle with me when we're watching tv
47. he has accomplished so much in his life! he has so many certifications and has experienced so many things.
48. i am so impressed with everything he knows. i can't believe how intelligent he is.
49. i fall more in love with him every day, no matter what.
50. i know that i couldn't live without him, he makes my life complete.
51. i am happier with him than i have ever been.
52. he is a stickler about time, and we are never late to anything.
53. he always stays on top of current events, constantly checking the news websites and watching it on tv.
54. he says what he thinks no matter what. i never have to wonder what he's thinking.
55. he is very opinionated and stubborn, just like me! makes things interesting.
56. i feel special knowing he dated sooooo many girls, and could have had just about anyone he wanted, and he picked me.
57. he gets jealous when i think an actor or a singer is cute
58. even though he hates pictures he lets me take them of him because he knows how important they are
59. he is the most handsome and attractive man in the world ;)
60. he is there for me no matter what, no matter what happens or what i do.
61. he always does things the best that he can.
62. he is willing to do things he doesn't want to do when he knows how important it is to me.
63. he wants me to be happy and does what he can to make me happy.
64. he goes to the mall and wanders around with me even though he gets bored.
65. he likes to go places like the zoo and the aquarium with me
66. when he eats crab he gets butter ALL OVER the place! and when he eats ribs he gets BBQ sauce all over too!
67. he uses paper to floss after he eats.
68. he has a really good singing voice even though he doesn't think so. i loved to hear him sing hymns in church (since that's really the only time he sings)
69. he surprises me with things like concert tickets and flowers every once in awhile
70. he teaches me things about life, and football, and everything he knows.
71. he makes extra effort to get along with people at work, even though i know it's hard for him because they can be obnoxious.
72. he would do anything to help out a friend in need.
73. he apologizes when he realizes he's wrong.
74. he always makes sure to give me a kiss goodnight and before he leaves (even if i'm asleep!)
75. he is the best husband i could ask for, and i am so blessed and so proud that he is mine.
i love you honey...i hope you know that. i want you to know that no matter what happens in our lives or with each other that i love you and that i want to be with you forever. i am so proud of you, for everything you do. i appreciate all of your hard work. you are the best!
happy birthday!
as for everyone else, you can read them and be jealous!
75 reasons why i love my hubby:
1. he remembers little things, like how i like forks better than spoons.
2. he talks to me via email while i'm at work.
3. he can be very romantic and spontaneous, and i love that.
4. he has such an incredible work ethic! he works so hard for our family, even though it is not easy.
5. i can trust him completely, with anything.
6. i know that he loves me unconditionally.
7. he is such an incredible father! he loves our baby so much.
8. he is fiercely loyal--which is one of the reasons i fell in love with him.
9. he has the sexiest butt! :) it's nice and tight and i love it.
10. i love the way he laughs when he things something is really funny!
11. he tells me i'm a good mommy a lot.
12. he helps me out with things around the house when i ask him to.
13. he's a really good cook.
14. he likes to sleep in with me
15. he brings me cokes randomly because he knows i love them
16. he supports me in my work
17. he is so intelligent and learns things quickly.
18. i know he would do anything to protect me and our baby.
19. he gives the best hugs and kisses :)
20. he always wants to fix things when they go badly. no matter how badly.
21. he has a very black and white sense of what's wrong and what isn't.
22. he wants everything to be good, and right, and people to be respectful
23. he is respectful of other people's rights.
24. he is strong physically and mentally--i know i can lean on him, which i do, a LOT.
25. he is always worried about my health and well-being.
26. he is so good about taking care of our finances, he's never been late on any payments.
27. he always does what he says he will do.
28. he is so responsible!
29. he tells me he loves me a million times a day.
30. he is committed to our marriage and to making things work.
31. he has the bluest, most incredible eyes i've ever seen.
32. i know that if there is an emergency he can stay calm and take care of it.
33. i don't have to worry about leaving the baby with him--he does such a good job of taking care of him!
34. he knows so much about medical things, i love that he carries a huge first aid kit in his car.
35. he'll eat just about anything :)
36. i love it when he calls me "pretty eyes"
37. he always asks what he can do for me, and how he can help me.
38. he knows how to make me smile and laugh when i'm mad at him. it's so hard to stay upset when he does that!
39. he watches trashy reality tv with me.
40. he rubs my back when i ask him to and does a great job
41. he always checks the mileage every time he gets gas
42. he shreds his receipts. endearing even if it is messy.
43. he encourages me to do things i love, like scrapbooking, playing the piano, etc.
44. he understands that my family is important to me.
45. he helps me to relax because i stress out a lot over stupid things.
46. he likes to cuddle with me when we're watching tv
47. he has accomplished so much in his life! he has so many certifications and has experienced so many things.
48. i am so impressed with everything he knows. i can't believe how intelligent he is.
49. i fall more in love with him every day, no matter what.
50. i know that i couldn't live without him, he makes my life complete.
51. i am happier with him than i have ever been.
52. he is a stickler about time, and we are never late to anything.
53. he always stays on top of current events, constantly checking the news websites and watching it on tv.
54. he says what he thinks no matter what. i never have to wonder what he's thinking.
55. he is very opinionated and stubborn, just like me! makes things interesting.
56. i feel special knowing he dated sooooo many girls, and could have had just about anyone he wanted, and he picked me.
57. he gets jealous when i think an actor or a singer is cute
58. even though he hates pictures he lets me take them of him because he knows how important they are
59. he is the most handsome and attractive man in the world ;)
60. he is there for me no matter what, no matter what happens or what i do.
61. he always does things the best that he can.
62. he is willing to do things he doesn't want to do when he knows how important it is to me.
63. he wants me to be happy and does what he can to make me happy.
64. he goes to the mall and wanders around with me even though he gets bored.
65. he likes to go places like the zoo and the aquarium with me
66. when he eats crab he gets butter ALL OVER the place! and when he eats ribs he gets BBQ sauce all over too!
67. he uses paper to floss after he eats.
68. he has a really good singing voice even though he doesn't think so. i loved to hear him sing hymns in church (since that's really the only time he sings)
69. he surprises me with things like concert tickets and flowers every once in awhile
70. he teaches me things about life, and football, and everything he knows.
71. he makes extra effort to get along with people at work, even though i know it's hard for him because they can be obnoxious.
72. he would do anything to help out a friend in need.
73. he apologizes when he realizes he's wrong.
74. he always makes sure to give me a kiss goodnight and before he leaves (even if i'm asleep!)
75. he is the best husband i could ask for, and i am so blessed and so proud that he is mine.
i love you honey...i hope you know that. i want you to know that no matter what happens in our lives or with each other that i love you and that i want to be with you forever. i am so proud of you, for everything you do. i appreciate all of your hard work. you are the best!
happy birthday!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
it truly is a wonderful life...
"Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he? "
George: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I'll take it. Then what?
George: Well, then you could swallow it, and it'd all dissolve, see? And the moonbeams'd shoot out of your fingers and your toes, and the ends of your hair... Am I talking too much?
Old Man: Yes! Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?
George: How's that?
Old Man: Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?
George: Want me to kiss her, huh?
Old Man: Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people!
George: Look, who are you?
Clarence: I told you, George. I'm your guardian angel.
George: Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me that. What else are you? What...are you a hypnotist?
Clarence: No, of course not.
George: Well, then, why am I seeing all these strange things?
Clarence: Don't you understand, George? It's because you were not born.
George: Then if I wasn't born, who am I?
Clarence: You're nobody. You have no identity.
George: What do you mean, no identity? My name's George Bailey.
Clarence: There is no George Bailey. You have no papers, no cards, no driver's license, no 4-F card, no insurance policy...They're not there, either.
George: What?
Clarence: Zuzu's petals. You've been given a great gift, George. A chance to see what the world would be like without you.
hubby and i watched this movie this week. one of my all-time favorites. i've been watching it every christmas since i was an infant. and, like every year before, i cried in the end. what a beautiful reminder to all of us. if you haven't seen it (and even if you have!) go watch "it's a wonderful life." because it really is. even if you have a job you hate, you struggle financially, you have a hard time with business relationships, you have a sick child, you are jealous of those who may be better off than you, you live in a drafty house with a banister that comes off all the time, you've lost a loved one. there is so much to be thankful for, so much to love. so much joy around you.
"Remember, no man is a failure who has friends."
thank you for being my friend!
------------------------------
and a few more fun quotes from the movie!
Zuzu: Look, Daddy! Teacher says, every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings.
George: That's right! That's right! Atta boy, Clarence!
George: What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary.
Mary: I'll take it. Then what?
George: Well, then you could swallow it, and it'd all dissolve, see? And the moonbeams'd shoot out of your fingers and your toes, and the ends of your hair... Am I talking too much?
Old Man: Yes! Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?
George: How's that?
Old Man: Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?
George: Want me to kiss her, huh?
Old Man: Ah, youth is wasted on the wrong people!
Young Mary: George Bailey, I'll love you til the day I die!
George: I wish i had a million dollars! Hot dog!
Sam Wainwright: Hee Haw!
George: Look, who are you?
Clarence: I told you, George. I'm your guardian angel.
George: Yeah, yeah, I know. You told me that. What else are you? What...are you a hypnotist?
Clarence: No, of course not.
George: Well, then, why am I seeing all these strange things?
Clarence: Don't you understand, George? It's because you were not born.
George: Then if I wasn't born, who am I?
Clarence: You're nobody. You have no identity.
George: What do you mean, no identity? My name's George Bailey.
Clarence: There is no George Bailey. You have no papers, no cards, no driver's license, no 4-F card, no insurance policy...They're not there, either.
George: What?
Clarence: Zuzu's petals. You've been given a great gift, George. A chance to see what the world would be like without you.
----------------------------------------------
so what's your favorite part/quote from this movie?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
have a blonde thanksgiving
a happy thanksgiving to everyone!
i am so looking forward to all of the wonderful food tomorrow, and more importantly the time with my family.
i am so grateful for my hubby, and my little buddy. i'm grateful for my parents and siblings, and in-laws, and extended family. we are so blessed to have so many people that love us.
i am also grateful for blonde jokes. so i would like to share one.
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"
do you share my love for blonde jokes? what are some of your favorites?
i am so looking forward to all of the wonderful food tomorrow, and more importantly the time with my family.
i am so grateful for my hubby, and my little buddy. i'm grateful for my parents and siblings, and in-laws, and extended family. we are so blessed to have so many people that love us.
i am also grateful for blonde jokes. so i would like to share one.
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter. "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked. "I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"
do you share my love for blonde jokes? what are some of your favorites?
Friday, November 21, 2008
dear little buddy
i love you. you are perhaps the best baby in the world. we just can't believe that you are barely 9 months old, and already so advanced in your social and motor skills! (even the doctor was surprised!)
there are a few things i would like to share with you.
"no" does not mean "turn around and grin at mommy, then go back to what you are doing." "no," in fact, means, "stop what you are doing, right now please."
the cat runs away from you because she doesn't like her tail being pulled. she is wary of your adorable giggles when she comes near you. chasing her, no matter how fast you can crawl, is fruitless, although entertaining.
that food in a bowl on the floor? right next to the intriguing bowl of water? those belong to the dog honey, not to you. mommy doesn't enjoy mopping up water off of the kitchen floor.
we are just so glad we have a basket full of fun toys for you! these toys mean that the bookcase full of DVDs (which are not included in the basket) do not belong to you. throwing them across the room doesn't count as "playing with your toys."
you should be really careful about shoving things in your mouth--even things you're supposed to eat. it's pretty scary for mommy and daddy when you gag yourself.
mommy's hair is not a toy. neither is daddy's. (although it can be funny for mommy to see daddy's reaction when you use his chest hair to pull yourself into a standing position, it really isn't funny.)
the way you "sing" yourself to sleep is just adorable.
speaking of the sleep thing. i love that you take naps in your crib. but when you cry for 15 minutes, then nap for 10, then cry for 15, then nap for 10, it's not very good for you. you should cry for 15 minutes then nap for two hours. you are so much happier after a long nap.
you are such a genius. you know when mommy and daddy are eating, and make a beeline straight for us. then open your mouth expectantly, like a baby bird. and 99% of the time you get fed.
it's great that you're so cute, even when strange old women say funny things to mommy and daddy then touch you. we cringe but you love it (i think).
even though you just love the price is right, drew carey just doesn't do as well as bob barker. sad you'll never know that.
i know you think that the keyboard on the laptop is just for you, but when mommy has to retype something three times, it's not so cute anymore. and when daddy ends up three screens back because you hit the backspace button so much, i think he gets kind of frustrated. along those same lines--power cords, vcrs, tvs, playstations, the power converter box for the computer, etc. aren't toys. neither are outlets. (good thing we have those plastic covers, huh!)
playing with mommy's cell phone is just fine, as long as you don't eat it. blackberries are food. mommy's blackberry is not.
i love you, little buddy. i am so proud of how much you have grown. you keep mommy and daddy running, and i'm sure that the older you get the more running we will do. it has been fun watching you go from grabbing fingers to grabbing eyelids. from playing with your hands to playing with everything you can get your hands on.
love,
mommy
there are a few things i would like to share with you.
"no" does not mean "turn around and grin at mommy, then go back to what you are doing." "no," in fact, means, "stop what you are doing, right now please."
the cat runs away from you because she doesn't like her tail being pulled. she is wary of your adorable giggles when she comes near you. chasing her, no matter how fast you can crawl, is fruitless, although entertaining.
that food in a bowl on the floor? right next to the intriguing bowl of water? those belong to the dog honey, not to you. mommy doesn't enjoy mopping up water off of the kitchen floor.
we are just so glad we have a basket full of fun toys for you! these toys mean that the bookcase full of DVDs (which are not included in the basket) do not belong to you. throwing them across the room doesn't count as "playing with your toys."
you should be really careful about shoving things in your mouth--even things you're supposed to eat. it's pretty scary for mommy and daddy when you gag yourself.
mommy's hair is not a toy. neither is daddy's. (although it can be funny for mommy to see daddy's reaction when you use his chest hair to pull yourself into a standing position, it really isn't funny.)
the way you "sing" yourself to sleep is just adorable.
speaking of the sleep thing. i love that you take naps in your crib. but when you cry for 15 minutes, then nap for 10, then cry for 15, then nap for 10, it's not very good for you. you should cry for 15 minutes then nap for two hours. you are so much happier after a long nap.
you are such a genius. you know when mommy and daddy are eating, and make a beeline straight for us. then open your mouth expectantly, like a baby bird. and 99% of the time you get fed.
it's great that you're so cute, even when strange old women say funny things to mommy and daddy then touch you. we cringe but you love it (i think).
even though you just love the price is right, drew carey just doesn't do as well as bob barker. sad you'll never know that.
i know you think that the keyboard on the laptop is just for you, but when mommy has to retype something three times, it's not so cute anymore. and when daddy ends up three screens back because you hit the backspace button so much, i think he gets kind of frustrated. along those same lines--power cords, vcrs, tvs, playstations, the power converter box for the computer, etc. aren't toys. neither are outlets. (good thing we have those plastic covers, huh!)
playing with mommy's cell phone is just fine, as long as you don't eat it. blackberries are food. mommy's blackberry is not.
i love you, little buddy. i am so proud of how much you have grown. you keep mommy and daddy running, and i'm sure that the older you get the more running we will do. it has been fun watching you go from grabbing fingers to grabbing eyelids. from playing with your hands to playing with everything you can get your hands on.
love,
mommy
Sunday, November 16, 2008
a few things i love most about being a mommy
the way little buddy giggles when i tickle him (and how giggly he gets at night when he's tired---you look at him and he laughs hysterically!)
how big he grins at me!
the compliments we get from people about what a good baby he is and how adorable he is (because he is the cutest, most well-behaved baby i've ever seen!)
the way he watches me when i'm moving around
baby toes...baby fingers...baby hair (like cornsilk)...his BIG blue eyes...soft baby skin...his cute little baby bum...baby fat rolls on his thighs....tiny little teeth...
how he will crawl after me if i go into another room
the way he reaches out for me to hold him
when i pick him up he (usually) stops crying--even if someone else was already holding him
getting to cuddle with him when he eats. he used to be so cuddly--he wouldn't sleep at all unless he was being held. now he won't sleep at all if he is held. he has so much energy, the only time he will sit still and let me cuddle him is when he's eating.
getting up with him at night, when it's quiet and dark, and nursing him. i love to just hold him and watch him eat. (even though getting up a lot at night isn't so fun.)
watching him grow and learn new things. i can't believe how big he is, and how fast he is learning. i bet he will be walking very soon, and he's only 9 months old.
listening to the way he "sings" himself to sleep
watching him with my husband. he sure loves his daddy.
listening to him talk. he loves to hear himself make noise!
seeing him sleep at night, with his legs curled under him and his butt stuck up in the air.
getting to dress him in fun clothes, and watch as he grows out of them (so fast!)
having a reason to walk down the toy aisle at wal-mart :)
how he will reach out and touch my face when i'm holding him
seeing his personality emerge as he gets older
knowing (usually!) why he is upset, and what he needs, and how to take care of it
the way he climbs all over everything
how he puts a toy in his mouth and crawls around with it dangling
the sound of him panting like a dog--he loves to do that!
being so proud of him, and feeling more love for him than i ever thought was possible
learning more about myself, who i am and what kind of person i can be, just by being a mother
-----------------------------------------------
what are your favorite things about being a mommy (or daddy)? and if you don't have kids yet, what do you look forward to the most?
how big he grins at me!
the compliments we get from people about what a good baby he is and how adorable he is (because he is the cutest, most well-behaved baby i've ever seen!)
the way he watches me when i'm moving around
baby toes...baby fingers...baby hair (like cornsilk)...his BIG blue eyes...soft baby skin...his cute little baby bum...baby fat rolls on his thighs....tiny little teeth...
how he will crawl after me if i go into another room
the way he reaches out for me to hold him
when i pick him up he (usually) stops crying--even if someone else was already holding him
getting to cuddle with him when he eats. he used to be so cuddly--he wouldn't sleep at all unless he was being held. now he won't sleep at all if he is held. he has so much energy, the only time he will sit still and let me cuddle him is when he's eating.
getting up with him at night, when it's quiet and dark, and nursing him. i love to just hold him and watch him eat. (even though getting up a lot at night isn't so fun.)
watching him grow and learn new things. i can't believe how big he is, and how fast he is learning. i bet he will be walking very soon, and he's only 9 months old.
listening to the way he "sings" himself to sleep
watching him with my husband. he sure loves his daddy.
listening to him talk. he loves to hear himself make noise!
seeing him sleep at night, with his legs curled under him and his butt stuck up in the air.
getting to dress him in fun clothes, and watch as he grows out of them (so fast!)
having a reason to walk down the toy aisle at wal-mart :)
how he will reach out and touch my face when i'm holding him
seeing his personality emerge as he gets older
knowing (usually!) why he is upset, and what he needs, and how to take care of it
the way he climbs all over everything
how he puts a toy in his mouth and crawls around with it dangling
the sound of him panting like a dog--he loves to do that!
being so proud of him, and feeling more love for him than i ever thought was possible
learning more about myself, who i am and what kind of person i can be, just by being a mother
-----------------------------------------------
what are your favorite things about being a mommy (or daddy)? and if you don't have kids yet, what do you look forward to the most?
Sunday, November 9, 2008
using the past to shape the future
a week ends, and another begins. time moves on. things change.
today i have been in a contemplative mood. at times my life does not feel like my own. i think about my past, what i have seen, what i have done, what i haven't done, and it feels like a dream. i think about my future. i think about what is happening now. in two years will today feel like a dream?
i have so many regrets. i have made so many poor choices. choices that, at the time, seemed like the right thing. choices that i had no idea would impact me in the way that they have. even the smallest of choices can cause such a massive ripple effect that your life will never be the same. you will change. those around you will change. your life can become something completely different.
i make millions of choices every day. whether i am choosing not to attend church on sunday (and instead blog about it on normal mormons), whether i am choosing to put the dishes off until tomorrow, or even if i choose to wear the blue shirt instead of the red one. some choices don't matter all that much (like what shirt to wear) and some do--like church attendance.
yesterday i had an opportunity to see some girls that lived in the dorms with me my freshman year of college. nearly 50 girls were invited, but only three came--including me. we met for breakfast at the dormitory cafeteria. i didn't really know the other two girls that came my freshman year. at least not well. i knew who they were, i knew who they hung out with, i knew which room was theirs. but i never really knew who they were. as i sat and talked to them, i was amazed. amazed at how well we got along. amazed at how much we had in common, about how easily we could talk, about the experiences they shared with me. and i was sad. sad that a few years ago i had every opportunity to get to know them. to be friends with them. why didn't i? because i made other choices. choices that, at the time, seemed like good ones. looking back now, i see they impacted me negatively. i missed out on so much. at the very least, i missed out on years of friendship with these fun, insightful, and compassionate girls. and who knows what else i missed?
but not every choice i made has had negative impacts on my life. even some of the bad choices i have made brought about good consequences. some of the best choices i have ever made, some of the seemingly small ones, have created the biggest, most wonderful results. like that day in september of 2005, when i got fed up with sitting at home every night. when i decided to check out that website. that website, that a few weeks later, led me to meet the man who is now my husband. who is now the father of my beautiful son. who would have thought that one seemingly small choice would change my life forever? would change me for eternity? i am so thankful that i decided to push aside the stigma attached to internet dating. i am so thankful that that man decided to send me an invitation to chat with him. he has become my entire world.
i hope that as i continue to learn and grow i can make more choices like that one. more choices that produce joy, that produce love, that produce happiness in my life and those around me.
today i have been in a contemplative mood. at times my life does not feel like my own. i think about my past, what i have seen, what i have done, what i haven't done, and it feels like a dream. i think about my future. i think about what is happening now. in two years will today feel like a dream?
i have so many regrets. i have made so many poor choices. choices that, at the time, seemed like the right thing. choices that i had no idea would impact me in the way that they have. even the smallest of choices can cause such a massive ripple effect that your life will never be the same. you will change. those around you will change. your life can become something completely different.
i make millions of choices every day. whether i am choosing not to attend church on sunday (and instead blog about it on normal mormons), whether i am choosing to put the dishes off until tomorrow, or even if i choose to wear the blue shirt instead of the red one. some choices don't matter all that much (like what shirt to wear) and some do--like church attendance.
yesterday i had an opportunity to see some girls that lived in the dorms with me my freshman year of college. nearly 50 girls were invited, but only three came--including me. we met for breakfast at the dormitory cafeteria. i didn't really know the other two girls that came my freshman year. at least not well. i knew who they were, i knew who they hung out with, i knew which room was theirs. but i never really knew who they were. as i sat and talked to them, i was amazed. amazed at how well we got along. amazed at how much we had in common, about how easily we could talk, about the experiences they shared with me. and i was sad. sad that a few years ago i had every opportunity to get to know them. to be friends with them. why didn't i? because i made other choices. choices that, at the time, seemed like good ones. looking back now, i see they impacted me negatively. i missed out on so much. at the very least, i missed out on years of friendship with these fun, insightful, and compassionate girls. and who knows what else i missed?
but not every choice i made has had negative impacts on my life. even some of the bad choices i have made brought about good consequences. some of the best choices i have ever made, some of the seemingly small ones, have created the biggest, most wonderful results. like that day in september of 2005, when i got fed up with sitting at home every night. when i decided to check out that website. that website, that a few weeks later, led me to meet the man who is now my husband. who is now the father of my beautiful son. who would have thought that one seemingly small choice would change my life forever? would change me for eternity? i am so thankful that i decided to push aside the stigma attached to internet dating. i am so thankful that that man decided to send me an invitation to chat with him. he has become my entire world.
i hope that as i continue to learn and grow i can make more choices like that one. more choices that produce joy, that produce love, that produce happiness in my life and those around me.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
yep he's the best, don't try to argue with me
last night was a perfect example of why i married the right man for me.
he picked me up from work, gave me a big hug and a kiss. then we went to go early vote. (i like that he understands how important being involved in this is.)
on the way to the grocery store, we saw a man who had been in a bicycle crash. there were a few people standing around him. hubby immediately turned around, pulled over and ran out to help. my intelligent and hard working spouse is a certified emergency technician intermediate. (yeah, awesome, isn't it!) and although he isn't working as one anymore, he stays up on his certifications and reviews the info he needs to be able to keep up with it. so he knew exactly what to ask, exactly what to do to help this guy. it seemed like forever until the fire dept arrived. and when they did, my hubby was able to tell them exactly what they needed to know. one of them even thanked him and said, "well looks like our work has been done for us!" (btw, the guy who crashed will be okay. he had a diabetic seizure.) i'm so proud of him for being willing and capable of helping in situations like that. this has happened a few times since we've met and i love watching him at work. and i know he really enjoys helping other people.
then on to the grocery store. where he slipped a 2-liter bottle of coke in the cart without me knowing. because he knows i love coke. and he let me get a thing of peppermint ice cream, even though he doesn't like it. and he let me wander through the halloween and christmas decorations, even though he didn't want to. and we had a good time together. we got a 6" sub at subway before we left to share, but he gave me the last few bites of his.
after we got home, he carried all of the groceries in for me so i could put the baby in his jammies.
we relaxed and watched tv, and cuddled, and had a great night together.
he's such a sweetheart. so go ahead, it's okay for you to be jealous. :)
he picked me up from work, gave me a big hug and a kiss. then we went to go early vote. (i like that he understands how important being involved in this is.)
on the way to the grocery store, we saw a man who had been in a bicycle crash. there were a few people standing around him. hubby immediately turned around, pulled over and ran out to help. my intelligent and hard working spouse is a certified emergency technician intermediate. (yeah, awesome, isn't it!) and although he isn't working as one anymore, he stays up on his certifications and reviews the info he needs to be able to keep up with it. so he knew exactly what to ask, exactly what to do to help this guy. it seemed like forever until the fire dept arrived. and when they did, my hubby was able to tell them exactly what they needed to know. one of them even thanked him and said, "well looks like our work has been done for us!" (btw, the guy who crashed will be okay. he had a diabetic seizure.) i'm so proud of him for being willing and capable of helping in situations like that. this has happened a few times since we've met and i love watching him at work. and i know he really enjoys helping other people.
then on to the grocery store. where he slipped a 2-liter bottle of coke in the cart without me knowing. because he knows i love coke. and he let me get a thing of peppermint ice cream, even though he doesn't like it. and he let me wander through the halloween and christmas decorations, even though he didn't want to. and we had a good time together. we got a 6" sub at subway before we left to share, but he gave me the last few bites of his.
after we got home, he carried all of the groceries in for me so i could put the baby in his jammies.
we relaxed and watched tv, and cuddled, and had a great night together.
he's such a sweetheart. so go ahead, it's okay for you to be jealous. :)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
the picture of my most life-changing experience
i don't know if anyone will really read this. i'm not sure if anyone is actually reading this blog--it is pretty new. but for the last week or so i haven't been able to get this out of my head.
i believe 100% that i am being prompted to write this. i don't know why. i don't know for who. maybe it's just for me. but i decided a very long time ago that if at all possible, i would use this experience to help other people. so, if this helps, then that's wonderful.
as a child (approximately from the age of 6 to the age of 8) i was sexually molested by a close family member. i will not go into detail as that is not my purpose in writing about this. all you need is the background, really: my parents did not become aware of the abuse until i was 13, after an unsuccessful suicide attempt. it was battled in court for almost 6 years, due to a loophole in state law.
i spent my teen years (and even into college) in and out of therapy,battling major issues with depression, my self-esteem, guilt and flashbacks from the abuse. i became aware that my experiences are not uncommon. i was extremely upset by this. i had been through hell, i could not stand to think that so many others would experience what i have. as i went through counseling and saw the HUGE difference it made in every aspect of my life, i decided that i would do everything i could to help others with my experiences. this is not something i talk about a lot. this is not something i will discuss with just anyone. i have found that i have been prompted to share my experiences with some very different people, some i know well and some i do not.
at 18, my senior year of high school, i began seeing a new counselor.she was with lds social services. i had never seen a counselor from ldsss before. my counselor told me of this new program, a class specifically for women who had been through some form of abuse. the class did not concentrate on the abuse itself, but on learning to heal through Christ. so that is how i found myself attending an eight week class with 9 other women. the name of the class is called SOLE:Survivors of Life Experiences.
walking into class the first week, i was extremely apprehensive. i was by far the youngest woman in the class. i have no idea what type of abuse those amazing women had been through--i believe some had dealt with spousal abuse, some parental neglect, others physical, emotional,and sexual abuse. but really, it didn't matter. we were there to support and love each other, to pray for each other, to help each other overcome the struggles we dealt with daily as a direct result of the horror we had each been through.
in the front page of the manual we received was this quote:
"The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is a source in the event of pain, and when that pain comes (and it will come, because we came here to earth to have pain among other things),when it comes, rejoice that you have the resource to deal with your pain."
-Carl Broderick
how true this is! life happens. terrible, horrible, unspeakable things happen as a result of the choices of others, and even as a result of living here on earth. but i know that Christ is there to help me heal from my pain, the same as he is for every other person.
over the next few weeks we discussed who we were as children of God.we talked about who He is, how we can find peace in faith and obedience to Him. we discussed forgiveness, repentance, humility, and the application of the atonement in our lives. through the scriptures,talks and stories from apostles and prophets, and each other, we learned how we can endure to the end--with the help of our Savior.
one night stood out to me the very most. each lesson was accompanied by some sort of interactive object lesson. this particular night our counselors set up an obstacle course. they blindfolded us, put us in a dark room, and one by one handed us the end of a rope. this rope was tied to desks, chairs, wound around stacks of books, portable blackboards. the rope went under desks, led us in circles, and at times was tied in so many knots it was difficult to tell where it led.my counselor gave me a little push and i was on my own. completely.slowly and methodically i felt my way forward with my feet. at first i tried using one hand on the rope. this did not work well at all! after a few steps i ended up using both hands. one inch at a time i scooted forward, feeling my way in the darkness. i crawled under desks. i stepped over chairs. once i even had to get on my tummy and scoot under a row of desks--all to keep from losing grip on the rope. after what seemed like forever in darkness, i felt a hand on my shoulder. i was pulled into a tight embrace. my counselor held me for a moment,and in my ear she whispered: "well done, thou good and faithful servant. welcome home." (see Matthew 25:21)
i felt the tears roll down my face. this was it. i knew, the entire time, she was there, watching me. she was helping me and i didn't even know it. the whole time i was wandering in the dark, she had been right by my side, just waiting for me to get to the end, to welcome me home.
and so it is with my Savior. i cannot see him. sometimes i don't even know he is there. and yet, he is right by my side, helping me, cheering for me, crying with me. he loves me. he knows the pain i have gone through, the pain i continue to go through. the nightmares. the flashbacks. the neuroses, the struggles, the temptations, the hurt and anger i have been through. he knows that i still struggle, on an almost daily basis. and he is there weeping for me, and bolstering me up. he believes in me.
"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" (D&C 24:8). i hope this has helped whomever it is meant for. i am more than willing to talk to anyone who needs someone to listen. someone who has been through something similar--or even not. i will be more than happy to give suggestions of scriptures, talks, quotes, and poems that have helped me get through the worst.
but most importantly: do not forget that you are loved. you are not alone. you can get through this, whatever it may be. be strong. rely on the Lord, he is there for you.
i look forward to the day that i will hear in my ear,
i believe 100% that i am being prompted to write this. i don't know why. i don't know for who. maybe it's just for me. but i decided a very long time ago that if at all possible, i would use this experience to help other people. so, if this helps, then that's wonderful.
as a child (approximately from the age of 6 to the age of 8) i was sexually molested by a close family member. i will not go into detail as that is not my purpose in writing about this. all you need is the background, really: my parents did not become aware of the abuse until i was 13, after an unsuccessful suicide attempt. it was battled in court for almost 6 years, due to a loophole in state law.
i spent my teen years (and even into college) in and out of therapy,battling major issues with depression, my self-esteem, guilt and flashbacks from the abuse. i became aware that my experiences are not uncommon. i was extremely upset by this. i had been through hell, i could not stand to think that so many others would experience what i have. as i went through counseling and saw the HUGE difference it made in every aspect of my life, i decided that i would do everything i could to help others with my experiences. this is not something i talk about a lot. this is not something i will discuss with just anyone. i have found that i have been prompted to share my experiences with some very different people, some i know well and some i do not.
at 18, my senior year of high school, i began seeing a new counselor.she was with lds social services. i had never seen a counselor from ldsss before. my counselor told me of this new program, a class specifically for women who had been through some form of abuse. the class did not concentrate on the abuse itself, but on learning to heal through Christ. so that is how i found myself attending an eight week class with 9 other women. the name of the class is called SOLE:Survivors of Life Experiences.
walking into class the first week, i was extremely apprehensive. i was by far the youngest woman in the class. i have no idea what type of abuse those amazing women had been through--i believe some had dealt with spousal abuse, some parental neglect, others physical, emotional,and sexual abuse. but really, it didn't matter. we were there to support and love each other, to pray for each other, to help each other overcome the struggles we dealt with daily as a direct result of the horror we had each been through.
in the front page of the manual we received was this quote:
"The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is a source in the event of pain, and when that pain comes (and it will come, because we came here to earth to have pain among other things),when it comes, rejoice that you have the resource to deal with your pain."
-Carl Broderick
how true this is! life happens. terrible, horrible, unspeakable things happen as a result of the choices of others, and even as a result of living here on earth. but i know that Christ is there to help me heal from my pain, the same as he is for every other person.
over the next few weeks we discussed who we were as children of God.we talked about who He is, how we can find peace in faith and obedience to Him. we discussed forgiveness, repentance, humility, and the application of the atonement in our lives. through the scriptures,talks and stories from apostles and prophets, and each other, we learned how we can endure to the end--with the help of our Savior.
one night stood out to me the very most. each lesson was accompanied by some sort of interactive object lesson. this particular night our counselors set up an obstacle course. they blindfolded us, put us in a dark room, and one by one handed us the end of a rope. this rope was tied to desks, chairs, wound around stacks of books, portable blackboards. the rope went under desks, led us in circles, and at times was tied in so many knots it was difficult to tell where it led.my counselor gave me a little push and i was on my own. completely.slowly and methodically i felt my way forward with my feet. at first i tried using one hand on the rope. this did not work well at all! after a few steps i ended up using both hands. one inch at a time i scooted forward, feeling my way in the darkness. i crawled under desks. i stepped over chairs. once i even had to get on my tummy and scoot under a row of desks--all to keep from losing grip on the rope. after what seemed like forever in darkness, i felt a hand on my shoulder. i was pulled into a tight embrace. my counselor held me for a moment,and in my ear she whispered: "well done, thou good and faithful servant. welcome home." (see Matthew 25:21)
i felt the tears roll down my face. this was it. i knew, the entire time, she was there, watching me. she was helping me and i didn't even know it. the whole time i was wandering in the dark, she had been right by my side, just waiting for me to get to the end, to welcome me home.
and so it is with my Savior. i cannot see him. sometimes i don't even know he is there. and yet, he is right by my side, helping me, cheering for me, crying with me. he loves me. he knows the pain i have gone through, the pain i continue to go through. the nightmares. the flashbacks. the neuroses, the struggles, the temptations, the hurt and anger i have been through. he knows that i still struggle, on an almost daily basis. and he is there weeping for me, and bolstering me up. he believes in me.
"Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" (D&C 24:8). i hope this has helped whomever it is meant for. i am more than willing to talk to anyone who needs someone to listen. someone who has been through something similar--or even not. i will be more than happy to give suggestions of scriptures, talks, quotes, and poems that have helped me get through the worst.
but most importantly: do not forget that you are loved. you are not alone. you can get through this, whatever it may be. be strong. rely on the Lord, he is there for you.
i look forward to the day that i will hear in my ear,
"Well done, thou good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy Lord."
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