the story of beatrice cenci

from the archives of my private blog

Beatrice Cenci, 1860

Julia Margaret Cameron

Beatrice Cenci, 1857

Harriet Hosmer

this story is from wikipedia

(born 1577-died 1599) Beatrice was the daughter of Francesco Cenci, an aristocrat who, due to his violent temper and immoral behaviour, had found himself in trouble with papal justice more than once. They lived in Rome in the rione Regola, in Palazzo Cenci, built over the ruins of a medieval fortified palace at the edge of Rome's Jewish ghetto. Together with them lived also Beatrice's elder brother Giacomo, Francesco's second wife, Lucrezia Petroni, and Bernardo, the young boy born from Francesco's second marriage. Among their other possessions there was a castle, La Rocca of Petrella del Salto, a small village near Rieti, north of Rome.

According to the legend, Francesco Cenci abused his wife and his sons, and had reached the point of committing incest with Beatrice. He had been jailed for other crimes, but thanks to the leniency with which the nobles were treated, he had been freed early. Beatrice had tried to inform the authorities about the frequent mistreatments, but nothing had happened, although everybody in Rome knew what kind of person her father was. When he found out that his daughter had reported against him, he sent Beatrice and Lucrezia away from Rome, to live in the family's country castle. The four Cenci decided they had no alternative but to try and get rid of Francesco, and all together organized a plot. In 1598, during one of Francesco's stays at the castle, two vassals (one of whom had become Beatrice's secret lover) helped them to drug the man, but this failed to kill Francesco. Following this Beatrice, her siblings and step mother bludgeoned Francesco to death with a hammer and threw the body off a balcony to make it look like an accident. No one believed the death to be an accident.

Somehow his absence was noticed, and the papal police tried to find out what had happened. Beatrice's lover was tortured, and died without revealing the truth. Meanwhile a family friend, who was aware of the murder, ordered the killing of the second vassal, to avoid any risk. The plot was discovered all the same and the four members of the Cenci family were arrested, found guilty, and sentenced to death. The common people of Rome, knowing the reasons for the murder, protested against the tribunal's decision, obtaining a short postponement of the execution. But pope Clement VIII showed no mercy at all: on September 11, 1599, at dawn, they were taken to Sant'Angelo Bridge, where the scaffold was usually built. Giacomo was quartered with a mallet and had his limbs hung in the four corners; then Lucrezia and finally Beatrice took their turn on the block, to be beheaded with a sword. Only the young boy was spared, yet he too was led to the scaffold to witness the execution of his relatives, before returning to prison and having his properties confiscated (to be given to the pope's own family). Beatrice was buried in the church of San Petro in Montorio. For the people of Rome she became a symbol of resistance against the arrogant aristocracy and a legend arose: every year on the night before her death, she came back to the bridge carrying her severed head.

such a sad story. got me thinking though...was her crime warranted? her father was doing terrible, unspeakable things to her and her family, but she was still breaking the law in committing murder. or was it self defense? did the pope just want their money? or was he really punishing the crime justly? i love that she became a symbol of resistance for the regular people. i don't know what i would do in her place. if i had had the ability to end my abuse, and if the only way to do so would be to murder my abuser, would i have done it? if it were still going on now, would i kill him? would it be justified?

isn't it awesome what you can learn by looking at a piece of artwork? that is one of my favorite things about art history--you learn so much about the artist, historical facts, legends, controversy in the time period, and the emotional response of not only the artist, but those viewing the art at the time and how it relates to the present viewer and time. my most favorite thing is my personal emotional reaction and being able to relate to something that was meant for people hundreds of years ago. it really makes you think...even though times change, society changes, people change--the fact that something created in the 17th century (or whenever) still elicits the same emotional reaction of people in the 21st century is pretty amazing. the fact that these two separate pieces of art directly relate to me and my life.

do you think the artist knew that while it was being created?

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

originally posted at Modern Molly Mormon

I'm not going to take away from this poem with my personal commentary. I would like everyone to read it and gather their own meaning from it. I would love for you to share your interpretation and how it applies to you in the comments!

Autobiography
in Five Short Chapters
by Portia Nelson

I
I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost . . . I am helpless
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II
I walk down the same street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V
I walk down another street.

dear little buddy

i love you. you are perhaps the best baby in the world. we just can't believe that you are barely 9 months old, and already so advanced in your social and motor skills! (even the doctor was surprised!)

there are a few things i would like to share with you.

"no" does not mean "turn around and grin at mommy, then go back to what you are doing." "no," in fact, means, "stop what you are doing, right now please."

the cat runs away from you because she doesn't like her tail being pulled. she is wary of your adorable giggles when she comes near you. chasing her, no matter how fast you can crawl, is fruitless, although entertaining.

that food in a bowl on the floor? right next to the intriguing bowl of water? those belong to the dog honey, not to you. mommy doesn't enjoy mopping up water off of the kitchen floor.

we are just so glad we have a basket full of fun toys for you! these toys mean that the bookcase full of DVDs (which are not included in the basket) do not belong to you. throwing them across the room doesn't count as "playing with your toys."

you should be really careful about shoving things in your mouth--even things you're supposed to eat. it's pretty scary for mommy and daddy when you gag yourself.

mommy's hair is not a toy. neither is daddy's. (although it can be funny for mommy to see daddy's reaction when you use his chest hair to pull yourself into a standing position, it really isn't funny.)

the way you "sing" yourself to sleep is just adorable.

speaking of the sleep thing. i love that you take naps in your crib. but when you cry for 15 minutes, then nap for 10, then cry for 15, then nap for 10, it's not very good for you. you should cry for 15 minutes then nap for two hours. you are so much happier after a long nap.

you are such a genius. you know when mommy and daddy are eating, and make a beeline straight for us. then open your mouth expectantly, like a baby bird. and 99% of the time you get fed.

it's great that you're so cute, even when strange old women say funny things to mommy and daddy then touch you. we cringe but you love it (i think).

even though you just love the price is right, drew carey just doesn't do as well as bob barker. sad you'll never know that.

i know you think that the keyboard on the laptop is just for you, but when mommy has to retype something three times, it's not so cute anymore. and when daddy ends up three screens back because you hit the backspace button so much, i think he gets kind of frustrated. along those same lines--power cords, vcrs, tvs, playstations, the power converter box for the computer, etc. aren't toys. neither are outlets. (good thing we have those plastic covers, huh!)

playing with mommy's cell phone is just fine, as long as you don't eat it. blackberries are food. mommy's blackberry is not.

i love you, little buddy. i am so proud of how much you have grown. you keep mommy and daddy running, and i'm sure that the older you get the more running we will do. it has been fun watching you go from grabbing fingers to grabbing eyelids. from playing with your hands to playing with everything you can get your hands on.

love,

mommy

yesterday i learned a valuable lesson

some days i am amazed at what an idiot i am.

yesterday was one of those days.

i don't know how many times i have put bleach in my bathtub to soak while i cleaned the rest of the bathroom, then scrubbed the tub. but yesterday i did it, then started scrubbing my toilet, and disaster struck.

a disaster that could have been MUCH worse than it was.

i was using a new kind of toilet bowl cleaner, and apparently the fumes from it and the fumes from the bleach don't jive. some deadly kind of awful chemical reaction occurred. within two minutes, my throat was burning and i couldn't breathe. the baby was in the crib, had just woken up. so i ran in the nursery (which is just down the hall) grabbed the baby and ran downstairs. i put him on the floor in our living room, held my breath, and ran upstairs to open all the windows and turn on fans, then drain the bleach water from the tub and flush the toilet to get rid of the cleaner. then i ran back downstairs to open all the windows there as well.

the house started to air out, but i had a terrible headache and was feeling pretty lightheaded. luckily, the baby seemed perfectly fine. i think because i was able to get him downstairs before the fumes really reached his room--it's a good thing i reacted so quickly! after i got dizzy, the baby and i went outside to sit on the front porch until my husband could get home from work.

hubby checked out the bathroom. the majority of the fumes had dissipated, but the smell of bleach was still very strong. he set up a big box fan, and we left the house for a couple of hours. upon coming back, it was much better. the bathroom still smells like bleach, but it isn't nearly as bad as it was yesterday.

when i realized what had happened, i was terrified. i (in my ignorance and stupidity) didn't think that the fumes mixing would cause a problem. i have cleaned my bathroom this way for years and years. i knew mixing chemicals was a no-no, but i'd never thought about the fumes. i will NEVER do that again. we are very lucky that we're both okay. i'm sure i lost a bunch of brain cells, which sucks, since i don't have a whole ton left to my name. i'm just so grateful little buddy wasn't hurt.

so learn from my idiocy. when cleaning bathrooms, use one chemical at a time. and my advice? never use bleach to clean a tub. use something else.

i won't be using bleach in my bathroom again, that's for sure.

letter to myself

dear 16-year-old-self,

well here it is. proof you made it through high school. i know you thought the end would NEVER come, but it actually came much faster than you expected.

and here it is, a few years later, and high school feels like forever ago. last night you and your hubby (yes, you actually do get married. to a wonderful man who actually loves you for who you really are, flaws and all) were going through some of your old stuff. and he read parts of your journals. and you were embarrassed. but most of all, you were shocked at how a few years changes your perspective on life.

so try to remember this, okay?

1. don't waste your time worrying about guys. i know there are 2o cute boys in your high school. but they are NOT worth it. not worth the tears, the worry, the stress, the way you beat yourself up. they're jerks. idiots. blind. you really are worth so much more. boys don't matter right now. someday you will meet a wonderful man who is a great provider, caring, loving, and a wonderful daddy to your children. it will happen. don't rush it. you will regret wasting your life on these stupid, immature boys, who mean nothing. and in a few years, you won't even remember who half of them are. or why you thought they were so important. (they're not. i promise.)

2. don't try to do everything. it's great that you're an athlete, that you love art, that you work hard in school. but don't join 2o clubs and get a job and be involved in church and try to have a social life and volunteer for the play and take on extra work all at once. just have fun. work hard, but have fun. and don't push your limits.

3. realize that just because you get a C in one class, it doesn't mean you're not going to college.

4. mom? yeah, she's hard to get along with most of the time. you fight a lot. you wish you could tell her how you really feel. but you know what? you'll realize as you grow up that some things aren't worth fighting over. and you will actually have a pretty good relationship with her someday.

5. forgive yourself. you screw up. everyone screws up. you're still trying to figure out how to forgive yourself. but it's important. move on, don't dwell on your mistakes.

6. spend more time with your siblings. please, please, please, spend lots more time with them. BE NICE TO THEM! they love you. especially your little sister, who looks up to you. don't push them away. you will regret it every day, that you are not close to them. realize how much they mean to you. tell them you love them. be friends with them. they matter so much.

7. don't kick your dog. he loves you too even if he is a dumb dog and always in the way.

8. lying to your parents? not cool. and so not worth it. you end up getting in more trouble than you should because you lie to them. (and they know it. they're not as dumb as you think.)

9. be nice to everyone. you're okay at this, you get along with pretty much everyone. but those few people that really drive you nuts? you don't know what's going on with them. be nice to them. everyone deserves respect.

10. stay close to God. pray. pray a lot. realize that He loves you. remember that He is always there for you. He will not forsake you.

11. things are hard. you get depressed. you feel alone. but i promise you this--when you are older, when you look back on how miserable you were, you will realize that you weren't alone. you have so many good friends who love you, who would do anything for you. so good that you still talk to a lot of them frequently. friends like kitkat and c duk and rerun. and most of all, your family. they love you and support you. (even when they want to kill you.)

12. don't bother with putting on your makeup every day. in a few years you'll wonder why in the heck you couldn't take the garbage out without your foundation and mascara on.

13. work hard in school. (okay, duh, you know that. you work your butt off already.) but remember to work hard in college, too. finish school. GO TO CLASS! turn your homework in. trust me, it's important.

14. be thankful every day for what you are blessed with.

15. write in your journals a lot. someday you will be very grateful you did, you will remember what it was like to be 13, 14, 15. it's worth it. and besides, you'll smile when you hear your hubby laughing so hard you can hear him all the way downstairs. because really, you are normal. (haha!)

so, 16-year-old self, don't try to grow up too fast. it will come sooner than you think. but when it does, you'll be happy.

don't take your husband for granted. he and your baby are the best things ever to happen to you. and being a mom is the greatest.

so relax. everything will work out.

it always does.

love,
your older and maturing self