looking up

i am feeling a bit better today.

yesterday i called a whole slew of therapists. and left just as many voice mails. when what to my wondering ears should appear but just as many calls back! i have two appointments set up, with two different therapists, and a third that i can see if the first two don't work out. finding a good counselor can be difficult. so, january 5, i will be back in therapy. this is a very good thing.

i think maybe i'm starting to start on the upswing here. since i have fallen so far down, i have a long way to go to get back up. and uphill is always much harder. but at least i am feeling hopeful. that is huge...i haven't felt hope in a long time.

i've been spending a little time over on the child abuse survivor network recently. i think that has also helped me a lot. i've been able to learn about other people's experiences, and their healing, and how they deal with things. people who have been through much, much, much worse than i have. i have been amazed at how supportive they are to me, even as a complete stranger. it's been really good for me, i think.

i also didn't have to go to work yesterday. the weather was miserable, and the roads scary, so i stayed home and just relaxed with the hubby, which was very nice. later we went out grocery/christmas shopping. and i got a new purse with some birthday money that my grandparents sent me. (i freakin' love it!) we also bought trivial pursuit because it was on sale at wal-mart. we played a bit before hubby had to go to bed. (poor guy has to get up at 5 am to get ready for work.) it was nice to just chill out. and i was already feeling better after having made an appointment with a therapist.

so things are looking up. at least for now. i'm going to do my best to hold onto this little shred of hope as long as i can...

yep he's the best, don't try to argue with me

last night was a perfect example of why i married the right man for me.

he picked me up from work, gave me a big hug and a kiss. then we went to go early vote. (i like that he understands how important being involved in this is.)

on the way to the grocery store, we saw a man who had been in a bicycle crash. there were a few people standing around him. hubby immediately turned around, pulled over and ran out to help. my intelligent and hard working spouse is a certified emergency technician intermediate. (yeah, awesome, isn't it!) and although he isn't working as one anymore, he stays up on his certifications and reviews the info he needs to be able to keep up with it. so he knew exactly what to ask, exactly what to do to help this guy. it seemed like forever until the fire dept arrived. and when they did, my hubby was able to tell them exactly what they needed to know. one of them even thanked him and said, "well looks like our work has been done for us!" (btw, the guy who crashed will be okay. he had a diabetic seizure.) i'm so proud of him for being willing and capable of helping in situations like that. this has happened a few times since we've met and i love watching him at work. and i know he really enjoys helping other people.

then on to the grocery store. where he slipped a 2-liter bottle of coke in the cart without me knowing. because he knows i love coke. and he let me get a thing of peppermint ice cream, even though he doesn't like it. and he let me wander through the halloween and christmas decorations, even though he didn't want to. and we had a good time together. we got a 6" sub at subway before we left to share, but he gave me the last few bites of his.

after we got home, he carried all of the groceries in for me so i could put the baby in his jammies.

we relaxed and watched tv, and cuddled, and had a great night together.

he's such a sweetheart. so go ahead, it's okay for you to be jealous. :)