Sunday, March 28, 2010


the nightmare, by john henry fuseli, 1781

i keep having nightmares again. every night...seems like all night long.

why do i go for so long without one, just to have them over and over again, for weeks in a row?

this painting is really what it's like for me. these little demons, on my chest, making it hard to breathe, getting in my head...white-eyed terrifying horses, pounding and screaming....while i am laying there helpless, vulnerable, and alone inside the nightmare.

i wake up feeling like i haven't slept at all, dark circles under my eyes, headache, anxiety in my chest. poor hubby keeps asking me how he can help...but i don't think he can reach inside my head and pull out the darkness. trust me, i wish he could.

what do you do when you have nightmares? how do you handle it? have you ever had one so real it's hard to separate sleep from reality?


KRoessner said...

It's difficult, when they seem so realistic. I had dreams for a long time, that I couldn't differentiate between dreams and reality. It's incredible how nightmares can be so debilitating as well, even haunting our waking hours as well.

But what helps me is revisualizing the dream but controlling the outcome. I imagine myself empowered, I do harm to people who want to do me harm. I say things boldly and scry things go away. That's what helps me. It kind of diffuses the fear in me when I assert myself over my own mind. And kind of let them know who is the Boss here. And it's me.

Paula said...

I used to have nightmares for long. Always the same dream. Being in a basket woven of snakes. Even today this nightmare returns hen I have serious problems I dont know how to handle them. I wake swaety and fearful, a few months ago I figured by now they only appear as warning and I am the boss - like KRoessner said as well. "There is a problem I will attend it, go away."

Enola said...

I used to keep paper and pen by my nightstand. When I woke up, I'd try to write down all the details, without emotion. Then I'd tell myself all the bad stuff is gone - out on paper. I'd put the paper into a drawer and leave it there till morning. Then I'd try to figure out what it meant.