Saturday, February 6, 2010

survivor meme

i ran across this meme the other day at marj's blog survivors can thrive. it's an old one, from 2007, before i started blogging. but i thought it would be good to do. basically, you list 25 of your needs as a survivor and 5 wants. then you tag five more people to do it. i think this is a good exercise to do for anyone, even if you aren't an abuse survivor. after doing the meme, link back to marj's original post.

i went through and looked at a bunch of the memes that have already been done to kind of get a generally idea where i should begin. so here we go.

my needs (in no particular order):
1. i need to feel loved and cherished.
2. i need to learn to love myself.
3. i need my family, my husband and children, by my side every day.
4. i need to feel validated and understood.
5. i need to be brave.
6. i need to connect with other survivors, so i don't feel so alone.
7. i need to talk, to share my experiences with others.
8. i need my art.
9. i need to work on being a better wife.
10. i need touch, holding my husband's hand, kissing my baby's soft cheek, my son's little hand gripping my fingers.
11. i need to recognize that i will not always be understood or validated...and learn to be okay with that.
12. i need therapy, a connection with my therapist and a start to working through my issues.
13. i need cuddle time with my husband.
14. i need to feel attractive, beautiful, wanted every once in awhile.
15. i need to learn to communicate more effectively.
16. i need to feel close to my parents and siblings.
17. i need quality sleep.
18. i need my own space to be alone sometimes.
19. i need music, music to play, music to listen to, music to connect with.
20. i need to laugh more. every day.
21. i need to work toward confronting my abuser in a way that will be safe for me emotionally.
22. i need my teddy bear at night.
23. i need to be able to forgive my abuser someday, for myself, not for him.
24. i need a relationship with my Heavenly Father and with my Savior.
25. i need to use my trauma to make the world a better place, to make a difference in someone else's life.

my wants:
1. i want to teleport someday. (and say, "beam me up, scotty!" while i'm doing it.)
2. i want comfy pajamas, slippers, soft pillows and warm blankets!
3. i want a coke. i really, really want a coke....
4. i want new furniture.
5. i want to lose weight just by thinking positively.

so here we go, with tags. i'm going to tag some of you that aren't survivors, too, and if you are a survivor but don't want to write "survivor" needs, just write your needs as a person. please let me know in a comment when you've written your needs...because i would love to read them! and i'm going to tag more than five people because i cheat like that. :D

i tag:
1. jennifer at minding the gap
2. dawn-marie at SOLE
3. ali
4. susannah
5. vanessa at this is the story of a girl...
6. felicia at feliciab design
7. paula
8. jia at color me untypical
9. enola (i think you've done this before, but if you'd like to do it again feel free :) )
10. vicki at here in my world


felicia said...

i love you to death. i don't know what you've gone throught, but i know i've gone through sexual abuse as well. i think we should talk, it might help both of us. i think we have an awful lot more in common than either of us realize. i definitely think we should be better friends. i'll be moving closer to where you are in 2 or 3 months, so we should be able to get together more easily. i miss you. i'll text you, or message you on facebook, or both.

felicia said...

ps - i did it. :) but i fail at tagging people. lol

Marj aka Thriver said...

Hey, you! I didn't know you went back and did my old meme. I love it! And I really like your list.