fishy fishy fishy

i apologize for the length between posts recently. i get on every day...and realize i have nothing new to talk (ahem...complain) about and so i don't. still having nightmares. still really sick. gross, gross, gross.

yesterday i was feeling a bit better so we went to the local aquarium as a family. they have a new exhibit open since the last time we went and it was pretty cool. the best part was that little buddy was old enough to sort of understand what was going on. the first time he went, he was maybe five weeks old and slept through most of it. this time, he pointed to the fish and tried to splash in the water at the petting pond. (is that what they're called?) we enjoyed ourselves. by the time we got home, however, my headache was starting to get worse. by the time i went to bed i was seeing flashes of light, had numbness and tingling in my right arm and leg, even some across my abdomen, and i was extremely nauseated. definitely not fun. at least it stayed away long enough for me to get out of the house for a few hours and enjoy my family.

we also had a bit of a scare with our computer this weekend. we kept getting these messages that there had been an internal failure with our hard drive. talk about freak out. luckily my dad was able to help hubby figure out the dos prompts and restore it...there was a file path missing or something. we immediately backed up all of our pictures and video. took me about seven hours to do but we'd been meaning to do it anyway. if we lost all of that we'd be devastated. luckily everything seems to be running fine again. we are thinking about a new computer soon anyway since this one is getting older.

well. i am going to go lay down on the floor and let little buddy climb on me. he rather enjoys that and i still get to lay down. i hope you are all doing well. forgive my absence and lack of comments please!

i'm not sure what to call this one. so this title probably sucks as much as this post.

complaints:
my poor son is sick. he has never been sick--literally. he has had pain from teething and growing. but this time, he's got a fever, he's vomiting, he's sleeping more than usual--poor kid. two days before his birthday and he's ill.

we showed our house three times this last weekend. got emails from our realtor today. turns out the people that looked at it are not interested, because of the neighborhood. surprise, surprise. that's why we're leaving. disappointing because we thought that one of them was going to make an offer.

i am still feeling like crap.

went to work yesterday to find that the office was closed---no one told me.

i've been sleeping like i'm seven months pregnant. can't get comfortable, entire body aches, my stomach hurts, pain sleeping on my back. i'm eight weeks! i shouldn't be having this.

those vitamins i take cuz i'm preggers? nasty.

i'm feeling sorrrrry for myselffffff......

okay enough bitching, now for some happy thoughts.
hubby texted me this morning to tell me we're going out to eat at this fantastic brazilian buffet tonight "because i deserve it." mmmmmmmmmm.

i now have 33 followers, yay!

i got to see my friend steph yesterday which was awesome.

i had kiwi for breakfast. i love kiwi.

yesterday since i didn't have to work, hubby and i went shopping for little buddy's birthday. got some fantastic decorations and fun gifts for him! he gets his own cake, too, and we got fun things to decorate it with. i'm excited for the party we are having for him on saturday!

i have pretty orange daisies on my kitchen table. flowers make me so happy.

for valentine's day, hubby got me bath fizzes. i used one yesterday. it was lavender. i love lavender. and it turned the bathwater purple! it was pretty darn cool.

warning: this post is full of self pity.

i am stuck in a rut of depression. and i'm sick of it.

for the last week or so i've been really down. i don't have a reason to be, i just am. i'm tired all the time, i have no interest in doing anything, and if i could i'd just stay in bed all day and all night. last night, i went to bed at 7:30 and (minus the few times i got up with the baby) stayed there sleeping until 10:30 am. that's like 15 hours! it was FANTASTIC because i rarely sleep, but it was NOT fantastic because then i know i won't be able to sleep tonight. the sleep gods have decided i abused my new found ability to snooze and have now taken their blessings and good will away.

i'm sorry if i'm depressing the few of you that read my blog. because i really don't want to depress you. and i realize that my last few posts have not been happy or upbeat. please bear with me, this ugly cycle will turn again and i will soon be on top of the world. well, hopefully soon.

i just feel like my life is so...stagnant. my routine never changes. occasionally hubby and i will go out and do something, but never for very long. and ultimately i end up back at home, back in the same routine. pick up the house/avoid picking up the house. take care of the baby. go to work. watch tv. go to bed. toss and turn and sleep very little. get up in the morning and repeat. i have very little energy and i'm crabby a lot. when i do actually clean my house, i swear it takes twenty minutes and it's a mess again. so then i think, what's the point? i hate doing it, i have to force myself to do it anyway, and it takes every ounce of sanity i have. and then i come home from work and there are dishes all over, and toys all over, and the table is covered in stuff, and clothes all over the floor again. (i think there are trolls or evil gnomes or something that do it.)

so here i am complaining again. and i'm sure you don't want to listen to me complain. heck, i hate listening to me complain.

but now i'm off, back to work, and back to monotony.

any kind of good wishes, and good will, and prayers, and happy thoughts any of you feel like sending my way would be very much appreciated. i need to figure out a way to yank myself out of this hole i've dug. and at this point, i know i can't do it alone.