i have jumped into a new chapter of my life. by changing something superficial. i cut my hair.
in the twenty something years i have been alive, the shortest i have cut my hair, since it grew past my shoulders as a toddler, was to barely above the shoulder line. my hair was always really long, and outrageously thick.
well this weekend that all changed. i cut it. no, i chopped it. i chopped it to somewhere between the bottom of my ears and my chin. it is short. it is about 16 inches (give or take an inch or two) shorter than it was when i woke up saturday morning.
my head feels strangely light. i'm brushing the back of my neck. people don't recognize me. my sister stared at me, repeated "it's so weird. just so weird. i can't believe how weird it is. weird, your hair is so short!" (she's 15 so we'll excuse her lack of a vocabulary.) it takes me about 1/10 the amount of time and shampoo to wash it. and, miracle of all miracles, about 10 minutes to blow dry, instead of the 45 minutes it used to take. (i wasn't kidding when i said it was outrageously thick! so thick that while cutting it it had to be thinned out so i didn't look like a mushroom.)
and i am so proud of myself. i didn't cry. i thought about it, especially as i was holding the chunk of hair in front of me, but i didn't. and strangely, i look older and more mature. and (sigh of relief) i don't think my face looks any more round, which is what i was mostly worried about.
so i was thinking. i look different. i feel different. but as a person, i am not any different. and yet this superficial change is huge for me, since i've had the same hairstyle for years and years. even though i look more mature, i'm not really. too bad changing yourself physically can't change yourself in other ways, right? like this makeup will make you rich. or that pair of pants will make you a successful business woman. or wearing those socks will sell a painting. hmmm. isn't that what advertising says, anyway?
well. while i'm waiting for someone to figure out a way for my socks to make me a successful artist, i'll pretend i'm as mature as my haircut. and run my fingers through it about twenty more times in the next hour to make sure it really is as short as i think.
yep, it's still that short!