Sunday, September 21, 2008

go team!

i took my little buddy, who just turned 7 months old, to his first football game yesterday. i went with my dad and my siblings. my brother and sister sat in the student section, because one of my other sisters attends the school. my dad and i, however, sat with the "old folks," as my little brother puts it. although most of them weren't really that 'old,' the majority of them weren't in their late teens to early twenties. to my 16-year-old baby brother, anyone over the age of 21 is old. (thanks, dude.)

sitting amidst the "old folks" was probably more entertaining than being smashed into the yelling, screaming, three-people-to-one-seat student section. and i can prove it.
exhibit a: one (rather amusing) fan for opposing team somehow stuck in a sea of fans for the home team.

fan: "just you watch, we're a second-half team!"
(here is where i am thinking but not saying: sure hope this game has three halves then, because i seriously doubt they'll be catching up!)
little girl (about five years old) turns around and says: "insert-team-name-here sucks!"
fan (30-something, 6'5", 300 lbs): "you're only saying that because your parents are here! i'll fight the whole stadium if i have to!"
home fan: "you better turn in your temple recommend for cheering for insert-team-name-here."
etc. etc.
exhibit b: a fight between fans, both cheering for home team. a call is made in favor of opposing team. fans are angry. something having to do with a new rule. fan #1 explains the rule to angry fan #2. argument ensues.

fan 1 (50-something man of the large variety): "you dumbass."
fan 2 (65-ish man of the larger variety) turns around quickly, half stands and backhands fan 1.
(that's right, i said BACKHANDS. as in, the BACK of his HAND connects with fan 1's face!)
fan 2's wife: "it is your fault you got hit! it is your fault! you started it!"
fan 1 lunges at fan 2. nearly four large men have to physically pull the two off of each other. little girl cowering as she is nearly knocked over. wife of fan 2 still yelling at fan 1. people sitting near the brawling fans: "juveniles" "knock it off" "holy cow, children" "take it outside" "let the cops handle it" and so forth. witness yells to event staff there is a fight.

event staff shows up. here is what i really found humorous (not the fact that two grown men cheering for the same team are arguing like hotheaded 16-year-olds). the event staff? oh yes. she is about 18, 5-foot-nothing and maybe 100 lbs soaking wet. she comes up, alone. yells at the two guys to leave their seats. what does she think she's going to do? honestly? the two men are still trying to get at each other's throats! lucky for her they left, still yelling, but no longer physically assaulting each other.

fan for opposing team pipes up: "why the heck are you guys fighting each other? i'm the one cheering for insert-team-name-here!) you should be beating on me!"
little girl turns around again: "insert-team-name-here sucks!"

laughter ensues. ten minutes following the fight people are still laughing and murmuring about it.
seriously, though! talk about the ultimate insult. the guy didn't even have enough respect for his opponent to at least use a fist. i witnessed this whole thing with a perfect view--three rows behind. some people pay to get that stuff on pay per view. i got a comedy show, a fight, and a football game, plus someone to entertain my baby (thanks to the girls sitting behind me) all for the bargain price of a football ticket my dad paid for. man, i love college sports.

so from now on? count me in with the old folks. my brother sure was jealous he missed it.

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