today is my due date.
and not a contraction in sight.
i am wallowing in the self-pity today although i am trying not to. i'm huge and uncomfortable and soooooo ready to pop this baby out. i'm torturing myself by watching a baby story and birth day on discovery health. mostly because there is nothing else on tv at this time of day and little buddy is napping...and partially because i can sit here and whine about how these women get to have babies, why can't i already? whine, whine, whine, sigh, sigh, sigh....you get the picture.
it is hard to believe that we will have two kids. i'm excited and anxious for our baby girl to be born, and not just because i'm in pain physically. i'm also scared to death. i have always struggled with feelings of inadequacy, and being a mother seems to magnify that at times. quite often i feel i am an inadequate mother, and now i will be responsible for two children, for their health and happiness.
the good thing is my husband is an amazing father. he is so good with little buddy, and he works so hard for our family to make sure we have what we need. our kids are so lucky to have him--and so am i.
i will probably struggle with feeling inadequate for my entire life. but i know that i have a family that loves me, and that makes things infinitely better. i am so blessed to have such a beautiful family and i can't wait to have our second child join us.