i am 38 weeks along today.....and going crazy. ha! i already am crazy. i keep psyching myself out every time i feel a contraction coming on. last week we saw the doctor and i had already progressed to 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. we were really excited about that! with little buddy i was firm and closed up right until i went into labor. in fact, after about six hours of being in active labor i was only dilated to 2 cm.
the thing about that is now i'm even more paranoid about every stupid braxon-hicks contraction i have. i feel it start and i think, is this one going to hurt? is this the start of real labor? should i look at the clock and be timing this? when is the next one going to happen? and every night i fall asleep wondering if i'll be woken up in the middle of the night going into labor. every morning i wake up and i'm still pregnant and i wonder, is today the day? will our baby come today? then i go back to bed at night, still pregnant, shaking my fist at the labor gods because i'm still HUGE and i'm still waddling and my hips are still hurting and will this baby EVER come?????
the ironic thing is i still have two weeks left. two weeks! i shouldn't be crazy like this already, especially considering my track record. of course i've only got one baby to compare this to, but little buddy was born one day before his due date. it's more than likely that this pregnancy will last right up until the end as well.
poor hubby is going crazy too, mostly from stress. i'm stressing him out which is normal (i am his wife....and wives stress out their husbands....even if they don't mean to....right?) and he's also stressed because of work, money, lack of sleep, and the impending birth of our baby. he is excited and terrified just like me.
well we're down to two weeks. two weeks.....two weeks....i can't believe it.