spoke too soon, i guess

so much for everything being great and wonderful after the wedding. sister S called this afternoon, she's already engaged. getting married three hours away, with the reception on my birthday. no thought at all about how it would affect me or my family or our plans for my birthday.

when i got married? this same sister was upset because we wanted to get married on the same weekend that she had a volleyball tournament. my parents flipped because we had picked a date without taking her feelings/everyone else's schedules into account. then i get told when her wedding date is. no worries about my birthday, there, or the fact that we will have to drive three hours to get to her wedding with a three month old and a twenty-two month old. she said, "i hope you can make it." me thinks this one will be worse than the last.

on top of this, i found out on facebook that my great-grandmother was put in an assisted living home. once again, no one bothered to tell me what was going on. when my grandma was in the hospital this past january, i didn't find out until she'd been there three weeks. and i found out by accident. (i can trace this pattern all the way back to second grade when my other great-grandmother broke her hip and ended up in the hospital. i found out a week later when my sister prayed for her at dinner.) i sent my dad an email asking when she was put in the home and why no one told me. (since after the incident in january, i was promised they would make sure to call me right away about stuff like this.) his response? two weeks ago, it wasn't that big of a deal, and he was too busy with other things to let me know. too busy? too busy with my sister's wedding, i'm sure. too busy to take thirty seconds to send me a text message? too busy to take two minutes to send me an email? too busy to take five minutes to call me? or even to mention it one of the five times i've spoken to him in the last two weeks? they couldn't even bother to tell me why she wasn't at my sister's wedding. stupid me for assuming she just couldn't make it because she wasn't feeling well.

so now i'm pissed. i'm depressed. i'm feeling left out (surprise, surprise) and pushed aside by my family. little buddy is ornery today and keeps throwing fits. it's only 5:30, another two hours until he goes to bed. i have a headache and i'm nauseated, my back is killing me and my entire body is sore. the house is a mess, the dishes and laundry need to be done, and all i want to do is go to bed.

i don't know what posesses me to think that things will change. or have changed. or that it's even remotely possible for my family to give a rat's ass about me or my feelings.