Thursday, September 2, 2010

i would like a definitive answer, please

my life has been so full of ups and downs lately i just don't know what to do here. tuesday i saw a new doctor. my new EMDR therapist referred me to her for med management and also to have labs done, because she suspected i might have a hormone imbalance that is interfering with my treatment. she also said that she doesn't really think i'm bipolar, that it's more of a symptom than a diagnosis. besides, my regular med doc moved (which i'm bummed about because i really liked her) so i needed a new one anyway.

well i sat down and within about ten minutes of me giving her my medical history and background she told me i made it really easy for her--that it was obvious i had a major hormone imbalance. she thinks that all of my mood swings, migraines, exhaustion, the problems i have with pregnancy, issues with meds that don't work, etc. is all because i have too much estrogen and not enough progesterone. obviously she can't be 100% sure because i haven't had the labs done yet. so i'm getting the labs done and hopefully we'll have some better answers. i really liked her and she definitely seemed like she knew what she was talking about. she told me she's pretty much positive that i'm not bipolar. argh. am i, or aren't i?

tomorrow i have my second appointment with my EMDR therapist. i'm looking forward to it. the EMDR we did last time helped and hasn't "worn off" as i was kind of concerned that it would. she has me reading this book called "the ultramind solution" that talks about how our bodies affect mental disorders. it's really interesting. the doctor that wrote it says that systemic issues such as hormone imbalances, food allergies (especially things like gluten) and poor nutrition, toxic environments, brain inflammation, stress, lack of energy and poor digestion can call work together to give us "broken brains." his theory is that when you take out the bad stuff and add the good to your body as a whole it will improve and sometimes get rid of things like depression, bipolar disorder, autism, alzheimers, ADHD, memory problems, etc. i'm only a little bit into it but so far i've learned quite a bit about my body's interaction with my brain. so we'll see if it's really something that will help or seems a little gimmicky but it's worth a try, right?

so i'm really kind of frustrated. am i bipolar? am i just crazy? why is it that no one seems to know what is really going on with me? is it really just something as simple as a hormone imbalance that should have been treated YEARS ago? it it because i eat a lot of gluten? i have a whole ton of questions and no one knows any answers. i know i'm really annoyed with this, though.


depressionsux said...

I am in such a similar boat as you!

I am going to be having blood draws soon for hormone imbalance.

I don't know if I truly have bipolar disorder or not!

Paula said...

I am sorry for the limbo you are in! It is worrisome. It often takes time to figure all out, I know it too. Yet I know too, that I am so much more then diagnoses and labels. For trauma patients there are plenty of coordination exercises around to enhance the interaction of left and right brain. On top Feldenkrais exercises creates awareness through movement and ever since I do these nervewrekcing slow movements and listening inside me, my body relaxes, tension headaches have disappeared and I get a better understanding for the body and soul. My body and my soul. I truly love Feldenkrais.
Hugs to you