spoke too soon, i guess

so much for everything being great and wonderful after the wedding. sister S called this afternoon, she's already engaged. getting married three hours away, with the reception on my birthday. no thought at all about how it would affect me or my family or our plans for my birthday.

when i got married? this same sister was upset because we wanted to get married on the same weekend that she had a volleyball tournament. my parents flipped because we had picked a date without taking her feelings/everyone else's schedules into account. then i get told when her wedding date is. no worries about my birthday, there, or the fact that we will have to drive three hours to get to her wedding with a three month old and a twenty-two month old. she said, "i hope you can make it." me thinks this one will be worse than the last.

on top of this, i found out on facebook that my great-grandmother was put in an assisted living home. once again, no one bothered to tell me what was going on. when my grandma was in the hospital this past january, i didn't find out until she'd been there three weeks. and i found out by accident. (i can trace this pattern all the way back to second grade when my other great-grandmother broke her hip and ended up in the hospital. i found out a week later when my sister prayed for her at dinner.) i sent my dad an email asking when she was put in the home and why no one told me. (since after the incident in january, i was promised they would make sure to call me right away about stuff like this.) his response? two weeks ago, it wasn't that big of a deal, and he was too busy with other things to let me know. too busy? too busy with my sister's wedding, i'm sure. too busy to take thirty seconds to send me a text message? too busy to take two minutes to send me an email? too busy to take five minutes to call me? or even to mention it one of the five times i've spoken to him in the last two weeks? they couldn't even bother to tell me why she wasn't at my sister's wedding. stupid me for assuming she just couldn't make it because she wasn't feeling well.

so now i'm pissed. i'm depressed. i'm feeling left out (surprise, surprise) and pushed aside by my family. little buddy is ornery today and keeps throwing fits. it's only 5:30, another two hours until he goes to bed. i have a headache and i'm nauseated, my back is killing me and my entire body is sore. the house is a mess, the dishes and laundry need to be done, and all i want to do is go to bed.

i don't know what posesses me to think that things will change. or have changed. or that it's even remotely possible for my family to give a rat's ass about me or my feelings.

stupid mortgage company.

have you ever noticed that when something good happens, it seems that something else falls apart completely?

the bank declined the offer on our house. they were not up front with us about exactly what is going on. poor hubby is freaking out. he's over at our realtor's office now trying to figure out what is going on. our house appraised higher than what we were originally "approved" for for a short sale of our house. we had dropped the price drastically on the understanding of what we had been approved. then come to find out, after receiving an offer, they want us to raise the price $15,000. how is raising the price on our house going to increase interest and traffic through it? we are stressing out....how are we going to deal with this financially?

physically i am doing terrible. vertigo is horrible. i haven't passed out again but i am having a hard time moving around. today was the first time i have left the house in awhile, and it was hard. we took little buddy to the doctor for his year check up and shots. poor kid.

we do have another showing for this evening. i need to go pick up the house and do some dishes so it looks nice. good thing is that our realtor explained to these people the situation with the price and they are still interested in looking. hopefully they will like the house. keep your fingers crossed...we could use all the luck we can get!

it's 10:00 again, and where is cornnut? oh, that's right! she's awake!

here's a new emotion:

annoyance.

i've had a long day. a very long day. didn't sleep well last night (oh! surprise!), had a hard day at work, my back hurts, been kind of stressed, was accused of being deceptive (when i wasn't!) and just all around had, you know, one of those days. and now that it is at the end of the day, i'm annoyed. i'm on edge. i'm antsy. i'm exhausted but wide awake. i'm fed up with things that are seemingly unchanging. i feel attacked by people around me. i'm bored. i want to yell. i want to cry. i want to laugh.

i think i'm PMSing.

i need a coke.