my new function as a mother:

i am a jungle gym. i get climbed on, played on, grabbed, pinched, hit, kicked, stood on, used as entertainment.

which is why my son is going to be a monkey for halloween.

isn't this costume adorable? he is going to be the cutest monkey ever!

we're also going to a ward halloween party on the 25th, and since we also have this costume, i'm thinking maybe he can wear this one. (it's also pretty fitting for him.) it was a gift from grandma when he was still a-bakin in my belly last year.

as for daddy, he is going to be a banana. not only because little buddy is going to be a monkey, but because then he can get some maracas and do the "peanut butter jelly time" dance. that is his ringtone and our baby just loves it when his daddy sings that song.

i, on the other hand, have NO IDEA what i'm going to be. which is sad and weird considering i typically have my costume planned out two months ahead of time. i hate repeating costumes. halloween is my favorite day of the year. i look forward to it. i have an internal countdown that looks like the one in nightmare before christmas, and it starts ticking on november 1. i have a coworker that offered to let me borrow one of her old costumes, so hopefully i'll be able to find something! money is tight so i can't buy one and normally i'm uber creative but i've head a creative block when it comes to costuming myself.

i've had some really awesome costumes in the past. my senior year of high school i sewed my own dress and made my own wig from yarn and was sally from the nightmare before christmas. it was sweet, i tell you. in 5th grade i wore a really old dress that my mom converted to look colonial era, used cornstarch and food coloring to create a yucky goop, smeared it all over my face, and was a zombie. my sophomore year of college my roomies and i came up with this awesome idea to be a chess set--becca was a bishop (our bishop, in a suit with a nametag), katie was a pawn (a pawn shop owner, complete with green visor and miscellaneous wares), michelle was a knight ("night," in black clothing with felt stars and a moon pinned to her clothing), i was the queen (a rodeo queen) and hubby who was then boyfriend was the king (wore a burger king crown). since we didn't have someone to be a rook, we all pinned rook cards (from the card game) to our costumes. i've been a witch (last year a pregger witch), a vampire, a butterfly, a prom queen, a leopard, a devil, a greek goddess, and a princess.

i wonder what i will end up being this year....

because i don't talk about myself enough as it is

i've done this one before, but i've been moving cobwebs around in my brain for an hour trying to figure out what to write about.

i am: obsessed with all things art.
i think: that snow should be warm.
i know: my husband loves me, even if i am crazy. or mean.
i want: to finish college someday.
i dislike: onions. motorcycles. raisins. scary movies. peppers. peanut butter sandwiches. spiders.
i fear: being resented by my children.
i feel: inadequate with most things
i hear: the incredible sound of my sleeping baby breathing
i smell: pretty bad, probably. haven't showered yet today.
i crave: chinese food....really bad....and coke. always crave coke.
i cry: a lot. all the time. at everything. every time i hear the song "sara beth." when i watch law and order. when i get upset. when i'm really happy. when i'm so proud of my hubby or my son.
i usually: try to stay in bed as long as humanly possible.
i search: for never-ending happiness
i wonder: what my life will be like a year from now
i regret: the way i treated my younger siblings growing up--my relationships with them suffers even now from it
i love: it when my hubby gets all dressed up. he hates it but he is just so freaking sexy. :)
i care: about people i don't know, have never met and never will meet
i always: forget things. lots of things. changing batteries. turning off lights.
i try: to be a better wife and mother. every day.
i worry: i'll never be good enough
i am not: a logical person (most times)
i remember: staying up until 5 am with my hubby because we just couldn't stand to say goodbye when we were dating
i believe: everyone deserves love and understanding, safety and comfort, joy and success
i dance: to make my baby laugh
i sing: really loud, in my car. but only when i'm by myself.
i don’t always: wear my own clothes. dh's are so much more comfy.
i argue: way too much.
i write: about how i feel, what i think, what i see, what i want to see
i lose: perspective when i get angry
i wish: i could protect my family from every kind of fear and unhappiness
i listen: to the same songs over and over again
i don't understand: how people can be so evil
i can usually be found: at work or with my family
i am scared: of losing my husband's love
i need: a coke. always.
i forget: how much fun it was to play sports
i am happy: to have so many family members and friends that care about me and my happiness.