blonde to black

i dyed my hair black.

why, do you ask?

because i wanted to.

i have been a blonde my entire life. as i get older, my hair gets darker. i was in complete and total denial of the fact that i was no longer "blonde" but a "dirty dishwater blonde with streaks of light brown" (or some variation of that) for a long time. until a year or so ago i found long strands of dark brown hair on something (couch, probably) and was really upset because i didn't know who they belonged to....until i realized they belonged to me. talk about my self-perception shattering, i'd always been proud to be blonde.

so over the past few years i've thought a lot about going brunette. i've always decided not to out of nervousness (what if i hate it?) and out of my still-persistent state of denial (i AM a blonde, dang it!) and laziness (upkeep on roots? yuck.)

secretly, however, for a very long time, i have always fantasized about dying my hair black and getting it cut really short (i've had long hair most of my life, with a few exceptions) and going all punk-rock. unfortunately i'm not cool enough to pull off the punk-rock look.

so a few days ago, impulsively (or not, since i've been considering it for years) i spent a whopping $3 on a box of hair dye called "dark brown." one dye job later, my husband could barely tell a difference (i had to point it out to him) and no one else i met noticed, because the color wasn't that different (again, this state of denial. i thought i went from blonde to brown....but really from light brown to medium brown.) so then i decided it wasn't dark enough. another trip the the grocery store, another $3 on a box of hair dye i thought was titled "brown black" until i got it home and realized it was "soft black." so i said to myself, well, here's one of those things you can cross off your bucket list: dye your hair black.

so i did, and it was awful. my hair is ridiculously thick (i mean RIDICULOUSLY thick) and one box of dye was nowhere near enough. after rinsing and blow drying it was discovered that i had huge chunks of brown in my hair still. not so sexy. so another trip to the grocery store for a more expensive kind of hair dye, roping my hubby into helping me (since try as i may, i can't see the back of my head), and voila, i have black-ish hair. (all over this time, not just in chunks.) it still looks dark brown sometimes (like in this picture) but that's okay with me.

it's a little weird. and hubby says he likes it better lighter. so i don't know if it will last. but i did get to knock something off of my bucket list (which isn't really an actual list at this point), and i did something new and different for me, and overcame my denial about still being blonde.

next up, a haircut. it has been over a year since my last haircut and boy do my ends show it.