Wednesday, June 9, 2010

22 feet and growing

I've been working on the timeline but have come to a standstill...because I ran out if paper. So far I have finished up through age 11 and my time line is 22 feet long. Yes that is feet, not inches. Holy crap. It has been good, though. Things I've learned: 1. My seven year old year was pretty crappy. Not just pretty crappy...miserable. 2. My eleven year old year was by far the angriest, most depressing, most out of control emotionally than any other (so far). 3. No wonder my family was afraid of me...angry and hurt by me...and wanted very little to do with me. And I'm not even halfway through my life yet. 4. All those years I thought I was dealing with the abuse just fine by myself? I was just lying to myself. I was unhappy and hurting and angry. No normal nine year old should be thinking about suicide. 5. My family must really have loved me to continue putting up with me...and attempting to reach out to me. Friday I get more paper, and continue the journey through my life.

2 comments:

Kaitlyn said...

Love you, C!

Paula said...

I am so very proud of you. This project is amazing, paper and time consuming and so very worthwhile. I am gonna do it after my pilgrimage. You really got me inspired there. Dear One, I am leaving Munich this Saturday and wont always have access, hence not so much blogging, not so much reading, feeling and commenting. This doesnt mean that I wont think of my bloggie friends, my sisiters in recovery. Mill of hugs to you.