day seven: i am thankful for....

my art.

i struggle to put my feelings into words. i always have. i do better when i can sit and write them out than i do speaking, but the best way for me to sort through my emotions is through my art.

i inherited my artistic ability and creative mind from my mother. i have always loved to draw, to paint, to sculpt, and she encouraged that in me. when i was in junior high my art began to blossom, to become what it is now. my art became my greatest coping skill as my life began to fall apart. i felt the only way i could really be understood was to show my insides through art. it was as if i was literally using my own flesh and blood to paint what was going on inside me. the darkness and the raw emotion in much of my work was frightening to a lot of people--but it was exactly what i was experiencing.

i began to take more and more art classes and loved every minute of it. as a junior in high school i won several awards in the spring art show, including an award called the purchase award--in which the high school bought one of my pieces which is now on permanent display in the auditorium foyer. over my junior and senior years i began using my art to really heal from the trauma of my life. the way i poured my soul into my art became apparent to those around me, and i showed at several valley wide high school shows, for the best pieces.

looking back on the stacks of pieces i created over those two years i can see the progress i made in my healing. i can see the raw emotion. and i am grateful for the ability i have to put that emotion on paper. i am grateful for my talent, and for the teachers who have helped me cultivate that talent. i am so full of gratitude for the changes i made in myself by expressing myself through art.